I am a copycat

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?

I tasted marujana butter

I tried belly dancing

I stood in waist high snow

Sang karaoke in public

Had an orgasm from oral sex

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Give up smoking - check

Don't drink so much - check

Give up caffeine - I cut down

Give up mcdonalds - I think I went 2 or 3 times

Stick to the 5 date rule - hmm.

My new ones

Go to the gym - or at least cancel the registration!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. I don't know anyone who's had a baby

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. And I'm glad.

5. What countries did you visit?

UK and Spain. Boooring.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

A pay rise. To be in credit. A nice place to live. A new coat. A driving license

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
3rd June - The day Loco and I first kissed

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Falling in love - properly.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting the job I wanted.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes - I felt shitty for the first half of the year and had various tests only to show that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm feeling better now - must've been the fags and booze.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A portable hardrive.. random but true

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mine?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

V's - fucking bitch. (bitter? me?)

14. Where did most of your money go?
Paying off credit cards :(

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Christmas! Loco's Birthday

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

Besos - Canto del Loco (ha! just got how ironic that is)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?

Happier - Last January I was really low

b) thinner or fatter?

I would say the same - perhaps a touch on the porkier side

c) richer or poorer?

Poorer. Always poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Saving.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Spending.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I think I'm doing this too late.. It's too early to say

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?

Yes - totally and utterly head over heels

22. How many one-night stands?

5 - no comment

23. What was your favourite TV programme?

Lost. Prison Break.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is a strong word. Am dissappointed in. and Yes I do.

25. What was the best book you read?

Life of Pi - (I was late reading it I KNOW)

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Panic at the Disco!

27. What did you want and get?

I wanted to be loved. I got it!

28. What did you want and not get?

a payrise. The job of my life

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

Volver

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I spent a week celebrating culminating in a big party. I was 24.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

An exotic holiday to see new places and things

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

Null and Void. No money = no clothes. Fashions 2006 = bleugh.

33. What kept you sane?

My work colleague Maria, my friend Maisy and Loco.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Wentworth Miller (Prison Break)

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Elections in Catalonia and the fact non-Spanish residents can't vote. grr.

36. Who did you miss?

Ireland. Roy.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Loco! (what a surprise)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.

Don't tell lies.

My last post ever.........................................NOT

One hour to go before I get to leave work and not return for three whole days :) I do like the part of the December bank holiday I am actually allowed to have.

Today it is even colder than yesterday, maybe it will snow after all and lots of happy little catalans can scurry up to the mountains for a cheeky bit of skiing. or not.

Speaking of Nots, I went to see Borat the other day with Loco. As much as I try to get Loco to enjoy some anglophonic humour, perhaps Borat was not a good place to start for a beginner. "Yo what up Vanilla face" doesn't really translate well in subtitled Spanish. I did find the film amusing although there were moments where my hands went over my eyes and I cringed in a "oh please god he cannot have just done that. oh he did. oh no" kind of way.

Loco thought it was funny in places but that in general he had crossed the line too many times. I was also unsure as to whether Pamela Anderson knew about it - I have now found out that she did - how much funnier it would have been if she didn't know.

Apparently the police were called a total of 91 times during the filming of Borat. It doesn't really surprise me to be honest.

Anyhoo happy holidays shoppers

Let it snow...

It's so cold! Winter looks like it has finally arrived in Barcelona, after months of abnormal warmness today it is cold and rainy and a bank holiday. Alas not for me, some of us unfortunate guiris are slaving away in offices, hotels and restaurants all over the peninsula while many Spaniards have also been given tomorrow off and have gone away for a few days.

Normally the December bank holiday sees Spaniards flocking to the hills (mountains) to start the ski season. This year there is no snow, all the ski resorts are closed, so many have headed for the coasts. A friend of mine who has gone abroad to France for the ski season informed me that he is also short of work due to lack of the white stuff. Poor little ski workers - what will they live off?

Last year in November I froze my little... ok medium-large.. bum off in November so this year I had my mum bring all of my ski gear over early only for it to lie unused in a box in my wardrobe.

I at least have Friday off and am as yet undecided whether to go somewhere with Loco for the weekend or hang about here. Hmm.

So things kind of came to a head last night with some shouting, crying, stamping of feet and long heaving sobs.

I told the loco one that his jealousy just couldn't be.. it causes arguments and stresses me out. And I don't like being stressed out.

So, he had a little think about that and we shall see how it goes.

Jealousy

This week has been fucking tiring.

Jealousy has been rearing its ugly head near non-stop all week.

Loco really has a problem. And it's not that I don't understand because I am incredibly jealous of his ex-gf that he was with for seven years. However this does not make up for his incessant jealousy of everyone and everything. He is even jealous of my work, and today I got into trouble for it - Long story.

I work bloody hard at my job only to have him make me look a fool in front of my boss.

It's starting to get me down.. sometimes I think, maybe this isn't working, better to stop this now than let it drag on. One of my friends is convinced that he is compulsively jealous and will never change and his behaviour show that he wants to control me.. which is kind of how I feel to at times.

Oh. I just don't know. I'm stressed and confused and cannot be arsed with it all.

Bring back nsa beardman.

Catalans. Argh!

At some point last week Loco informed me that we had been invited for lunch at the weekend at his ex-work colleague's house with some of his other colleagues.

"Ok" I said.

On Friday Loco informed me that his work colleagues might speak in Catalan.

"Hmm" I said


"But they probably won't" he added

"Hmmmm" I said.

On Saturday armed with the obligatory bottle of plonk, we set off for lunch in one of the many industrial polygonic urbanisations that around these parts they like to call "a village". The BBQ was lit and we milled around the garden waiting for everyone to turn up. I believe that during this period I exchanged a few words reagrding Prison Break with a colleague of Loco's that I had met once before and then that was it because

For the next 6 hours I sat and listened to everybody laughing and joking away in Catalan while I sat there like a lemon barely understanding a word.

Were these people unable to speak Spanish? No. The majority were of a spanish mother tongue and had spent some years living in Cataluña, yet knowing that there was a non-Catalan speaker they still chose to converse in Catalan for the whole time.


Did at any point anyone try to make any conversation with me? No they did not. Other than Loco who does not speak in Catalan but understands perfectly. However he didn't really get that for his one sentence spoken in Spanish there was 100 sentences that had been spoken in Catalan making up the rest of the conversation.

What did I do?

I quietly sat and raged. And daydreamed about smacking each and everyone of these uncivilised animals with a big long stick over the head. Especially one of Loco's uber-Catalan friends who, for some reason, just looking at him makes me seethe. I've only met him 3 times. I don't really know why I dislike him so much. It's just his face I think.

The we left.

The rest of the night was a write off. I was full of nervous energy and bored but my bad mood meant that I didn't actually want to do anything. Happy Days.

NEWSFLASH

I have worked out how to let the general public comment on my posts. Splendid!

Comment away my little love monkeys

A night of madness

Back in 2004, a friend and I were asked to help at a charity ball to be held at one of the fancy hotels in London. We readily agreed, donned our ball gowns and off we flounced.

On arrival we found that the organisers planned to shove all of the "helpers" in a little back room for the sit down meal, meaning that we would miss out on all the fun.. no chance.

With a little encouragement from the person who had asked us to help, we waited until the lights were lowered and everyone was at their tables to find a couple of empty spots that we could fill.

We spotted a half empty table at the edge of the room and made our way there. I earlier had spotted a couple of hot guys and was pleased to see them seated at our chosen table.. Fate or coincidence?

We were lucky enough to have quite an interesting mix of people, including a Del Boy type entrepreneur, an actress, an investment banker (one of the hot guys) and a up and coming film producer - his reason for attending being that he was auctioning a walk on role in his new movie.

We got quite drunk at dinner and moved onto the dance floor to tear it up with our c-razy moves. My friend decided she would buy a round of shots for everyone forgetting that we were in a 5 star hotel and she was an impoverished student. I can still remember her face when the barman informed her that the price of each shot was 8 stirling pounds.

The ball started winding down and Del Boy asked us if we would like to accompany him to his nightclub. Well, yes we would, so off we all went to this famous nightclub in the center of London
which Del Boy claimed to have just purchased. I still am unsure as to whether this was a fabrication or beding of the truth but I was happy enough to believe it for the night and supped my VIP vodka quite contentedly.

At this point my friend decided that she quite fancied the film producer that I had spent some time making eyes at but not one to let bros come before hos I let her at him. Only that she decided to tell him about her boyfriend. And he gave her the edge. Leaving me to continue making eyes.

At some ridiculous hour of the morning the club closed and the actress suggested that we go back to her house for an after party, which everyone seemed to agree was a good idea...

To be continued

Torremolinos Prostitute

Not a penny, or should it be cent in this case.

5 tickets and I only manage one lousy number meanwhile Loco picks up a tenner.

In other news - I have been googled! Well.. not really.. unless Torremolinos Prositute counts.

:P

Housemates. Grr

Went for lunch with my housemate Lily today and apparently my other housemate, Rafa, has been bitching about cleaning or lack of it..

This makes me mad. Firstly as Rafa is here to do a course which consists of 3 hours per week. Lily and I work 40 hour weeks. Rafa never leaves the house (or appears to never leave the house) so therefore spends 37 more hours than Lily and I per week. This gives him plenty of time to clean, admire his cleaning and then bitch that we haven't done any. He now thinks that Loco should also do cleaning (Loco also works 40 hour weeks). Needless to say Loco was pissed about this especially as Rafa has full access to Loco's playstation and games for the 37 extra hours that he is around on his own.

His other gripe was that I ignore him. Bullshit. When no one else is around he ignores me! Not a word comes out of his mouth. Idiot.

This weekend it's yet another Euromillions rollover and once again I am feeling lucky!

180 million euros.. just think of what you could do with that! My imagination has been running wild.

Today I plan to buy 5 tickets.

Fingers crossed.

I have officially become boring with my days and nights consisting of work, food, sex (if I'm lucky) and sleep.

I spend the weekends lunching with Loco's family and sleeping siesta and shun parties and drinking in favour of a movie or Prison Break..

Anyone reading this.. is there anyone? .. well whoever you are.. I know the tales were far more interesting when I was a semi-alcoholic nympho and I apologise for my utter lameness

Have I at the tender age of 24 become.. OLD?

The week gets worse.....

Loco hasn't really forgiven me for lying and I can see that this will be brought up time and time and time again if he has his way.

Things just feel strained between us and it's horrible :(

Things haven't exactly been going great in my little world recently.

Loco has been causing me some stress. I never realised (you never do), how many insecurities he has and I feel like I am treading on eggshells with him.

He is jealous of ALL of my male friends and some of my female ones too, not too mention my boss, housemates etc.

It gets me down as I don't feel that I can behave normally when we are around other people as he accuses me of flirting, fancying them bla bla..

My friends tell me that this behaviour has to be reigned before it gets out of control.. and I agree.. but how to do it??

Take last night for example, a friend (male) has been visiting for a few days. He's already visited in the past and so knows some of my friends already (some more intimately than others). So we went out for a beer with a couple a people and I tell Loco to come along. He arrives with his best friend. Drinks one beer, sulks therefore making me sulk then pretty much demands that we leave. I decline and give him my keys so I can stay a bit longer as it's my friend's last night in Bcn. I then feel guilty for having stayed and promptly leave.

This isn't normal behaviour and it drives me mad!

So last night was very bad.

Loco has been asking me for sometime about the night we went to the concert.

The Sergio Contreras concert where Worm ended up sleeping naked at my house.

I have for some time been trying to convince Loco that Worm slept on the sofa. Alone. Clothed.

Last night I found out that he in fact knew all along about Worm naked. In my bed.

Yes, his friend had decided to tell him the truth about a month after it happened. I have been lying threw my teeth.

I KNOW - we weren't together, it's none of his business etc etc and I should have just told him BUT I decided to lie. D'oh d'oh d'oh.

And just as it was going so well, we'd had a nice date on Thursday, hung out with his freinds on Friday.. and then this.. cue tears, remorse and guilt.

Result: An even more insecure, jealous boyfriend.

AGHHHH

Guess who had the audacity to text me last night...

Beardman!

What a joker.

3 months of nothing and then a casual text as if nothing has happened..

There's a word for what he thinks I am - Stand by shag

well not this time

I don't smoke da reefer

So HC's brother has arrived. Rafa - not 20 but 24. Loco of course thinks that I fancy him. I don't.

He arrived accompanied by his mother and then proceeded to sulk in his room for 2 entire days.

He comes out occasionally now and seems to have taken a shine to Loco. Perhaps this is because Loco knows where he can purchase his favourite grocery item. Hash. Rafa's brother was always, is always very anti drugs, but now I have to make do with his little pothead of a brother who has possibly the most annoying voice ever.

Happy Days.

Meeting the parents

So .. I've met the parents! and the brother and sister in law! And they're all so nice! It was Loco's father's birthday and we went out for lunch. I sat next Loco's brother and opposite Loco, which suited me fine.

His sister-in-law seems a little peculiar but she is very Catalan so I'll let it slide for now.

Now, in Spain, meeting the parents is a very big deal. HUGE. Meeting the parents means that you are in a very serious relationship with probable intentions to marry. In our case, Loco had to give some explanation as to why he slept in Barcelona every night at a "friend's place" and after much prompting from his mother about whether his friend happened to be a girl, that perhaps was a "special friend" Loco finally admitted it and his father was not surprised exclaiming "Tiran más dos tetas que dos carretas" roughly translated as a pair of breasts pull more than a pair of carts. And so a short time later I was invited for lunch.

Normally you get introduced to the parents after 6 months to a year. I know people who have been dating over a year and still haven't met the parents, nor do the parents even know of the significant others existence. (This was the case with my ex in Madrid).

I think Loco's mother was pleasantly surprised as from what I gather she was expecting the stereotypical British person as found on the likes of Ibiza Uncovered and Benidorm Hen Nights. She seems satisfied that I am not some sort of Shameless Hussy (if only she knew, bwa ha ha ha).

So now they know. And now I only have to meet the rest of the 256 family members who will soon know about me as apparently Loco's mother is not one to keep her mouth closed. Joy.

eeeek

Last night Loco and I went for dinner at a Japanese. It wasn't bad, they have a range of menus at reasonable prices (calle Provenca between Balmes and Enric Granados - don't recall the name)

Anyway, I don't know if it was something they put in the food, or the free shot of Sake afterwards but when I got home I could not stop laughing.

Even when we got amorous, every little while I kept getting filled with an urge to laugh. Not exactly romantic!

I have a new addiction. Well I have two new addictions

1. Singstar - The funnest PS game in the world ever?? Loco and I have become quite competitive and over the last few days and my housemates have arrived home quite often to find us singing away like crazies.

2. Eyetoy - My brother has told me it is cheesy. Who cares? I love cheese. There are so many wondrous games for this small but perfect contraption that I wonder if I will ever leave the house again. I spent the weekend fighting virtual foes and absolutely knackered myself out. My arms hurt :(

Everyone should invest.

RIP Steve

I was very sad to hear of the death of Steve Irwin - The Legendary Crocodile (funnily enough spelt cocodrilo in Spanish) Hunter.

His shows never failed to amuse me and I even went to see the movie..

A sad loss.

So today I decided that I would like to visit the doctor.

I was surprised, being in this technologically not advanced country, that they had a nifty little system whereby you go online, type in your medical card number and pick an appointment day and time. Surprised that is, until I found the next available appointment is in 3 to 4 weeks. Only in Spain.

I have already been given a bollocking by the doc for turning up without an appointment (i.e. emergency) (I had had swollen tonsils for a week), what should I do, wait a month, stay at home watching repeats of House, Lost and Desperate Housewives until they can fit me in. Hmm doesn't sound so bad when it's put like that.

Anyway I have decided now that I'm in lurve, I should probably get the "tests". Hopefully everything will be hunky dory but you never know and they're always bleating on about the percentage of people with Chlamydia who don't know etc so best to be safe than sorry.

Last night laying in bed with Loco I had the realisation that I am 100% totally and utterly head over heels in love with him... So in love the thought of being with him in a year doesn't scare me, the thought of being him in ten years doesn't scare me, in fact being with him and only him forever and ever doesn't scare me.. This is out of control.

And then, I told him. And even more amazingly he (says he) feels the same. We even talked about moving in together. Seriously!

I guess it's weird, I've become so used to living my own life and doing my own thing that this, happening so suddenly, is a shock.

I don't really believe in "The one", but if I did, I think Loco might just be it :)

Feeling the way I do also means that I want to be totally honest with him about everything but I don't want him to know the details of my sordid past, especially as I know he's only be with one other person. Will he think less of me because of it or will he respect my honesty??

Such a dilemma.

Loco's village festival

Last night I went with Loco to his village festival.

Spaniards (especially those in Cacalunya) amaze me with their obsession with fireworks. Every major or even minor festival here involves, at some point or another, the throwing of fireworks, normally at other people. This one was no exception and lo and behold, upon arriving, we encountered devils dancing around with lit fireworks. Not to want to sound like a spoilsport or a pussy but I hate it! It's clearly dangerous and could burn someone!

Anyway we went and sat in one of the make shift bars and got ourselves a drink. I was feeling a little bit strange because Loco's family and friends not to mention the ex, were somewhere around and we cuold bump into them at any moment so it was a little bit nerve racking. In the end he did hold my hand and give me kisses and even searched (unsuccessfuly) for his brother to introduce me but I think this is because he knew his parents would not be there.

BUT - He has told his mother about me :)

We carried on strolling around the fair and went on one of the rides, kind of like a dangerous Spanish version of a waltzer, and then, then I saw Mr C's brother. Yes, as I think I may have mentioned previously, Loco is from the same village as Mr C and there, right in front of me was his brother, and his sister... and Mr C. I gasped and continued to walk as Loco asked me what was wrong. So I told him that I'd seen Mr C and we carried on walking.

We next went to look at the stalls and to quote Loco, my eyes were bulging out of my head when I saw Mr C and his family trooping towards me once more. This time I tried to make eye contact, but was unsuccessful in my endeavours. Loco says his face rings a bell. Well that doesn't surprise me as they live 2 streets away from each other. He also gave me grief for a while with the old "he's a good looking chap" chestnut, "I'm not as good looking as he is".

"Oh be quiet" I told him, "Yes he is good looking but I can't think of one thing that he has that I prefer to you" or something along those lines..

I had also arranged to meet my cousin as it is also Rat Steinberger's village but she never called.. quel surprise!

You can't choose your family!

Today Head Chicken came back from yet another holiday to the exotic laden with giant buddhas and the like.

I would imagine that after a 13 hour flight all I would want to do is rest, but no, I woke up bleary eyed and stumbled down to the kitchen to grab a bitr, maybe some juice to find - shock horror - him and her cleaning but not just cleaning. Taking everything out of the cupboards and cleaning EVERYTHING from top to bottom cleaning. Even Lily had been roped in.

This could only mean one thing. his mother is coming.

On the 4th September she will arrive to a pristine apartment with HC's brother who will soon be the newest occupant.

In a way this pleases me as it means no more HC but I am not sure I am prepared for the delights of living with a 20 year old boy.

I have good news. I have given up smoking and I drink less! Tick and Tick on the New Year's Resolution's boxes.

Reading back through the archive, it is worrying how much I was drinking and partying last year. Although it made for amusing tales and I had a whole lot of fun, it wasn't healthy for my body or mind so am pleased to be a changed (ish) person.

Although this weekend when J was here I still managed my fair share of multi coloured flaming shots until I was lighting vodka in J's mouth and tipping litres of water over his head in the comfort of my kitchen.

I was asked to write the following for work so I thought I would share it

What do you like about Barcelona?

There are so many things I like about Barcelona it would take me all day to list them all. Summer days on the beach with a clara in hand, lounging in front of one of the chiringuitos playing the latest summer tunes. Winter weekends up in the snow of the nearby Pyrenees. Sitting outside on one of the hundreds of terraces around the city watching the world go by and listening to the people chattering in every different language; The city is so cosmopolitan, it’s been easy to make friends from all over the world.

On a sunny day it’s great to spend time at the beach, then later when the sun has set head up the Tibidabo followed by a night of dancing in Danzatoria, one of my favourite locations, an old villa transformed into a stunning restaurant and nightclub where you can and take in the amazing views of Barcelona by night from the terraces.

For me, Barcelona has everything you could ever want from a city. Great climate, beaches, mountains, culture, fantastic nightlife, anyone of any age, at any time of year can have an amazing experience here, it’s impossible to ever get bored!

Naughty naughty

I have been very, very, very bad.

All I will say is that it involves the very handsome, blue eyed, Andalucian housemate with the sexy accent of my dance teacher.

It won't happen again.

a note

Oh. My. God.

Loco – in bed – aaaaaaamazing.

That's all

A first date

Me and Loco had a date :)

And it went very well! I wasn't even meant to be around this weekend. I had a weekend away planned with some friends on the Costa Brava but as fate would have it on Friday night I started feeling pretty shitty, so popped a couple of ibuprofens and was in bed by 9.

Just as I am going to sleep I get a peculiar txt from Garrulo Then I get a bizarre phonecall from Garrulo asking me to go away with him for the weekend..(after interrogating me about the text message I accidentally sent him the other day)

I tell him that
a) I feel ill
) I already have plans

Yet he still persists and says that he wants to go away with me for the weekend to sort things out and spend some time with me etc etc and so I tell him that if, when I have to get up, at 7am, I still feel ill and am not up to the moutain biking weekend I will call him and we can do something relaxing.

Fast forward to 7am, I feel like shit and decide mountain biking is not for me but that I will call Garrulo and see what happens (I don't call him at 7, I wait a while) but lo and behold is phone is switched off, so I send him a text. I then go back to sleep for the rest of the day.

Surprise, surprise I hear nothing, nada, zip from garrulo (fucker) and so when I get a text from Loco asking if I fancied going out for a drink, I decided that I would go (despite being on my death bed). Dates don't come round every day in these parts.

Well, we went and sampled some mojitos in some of Barcelona's finest mojito bars, there was a some flirting and after having sampled several mojitos in several bars, there was a first kiss. And a very nice first kiss it was too, so nice in fact that it lasted 2 days. No sex mind. Just kissing. and talking. and more kissing. I think cupid's arrow may have struck!

PS. I still haven't heard from Garrulo

Where the men are at

So after the whole Worm fiasco, last night I went to see the Chili Peppers and I got to the front row!!

I can't say that I am really a Chili Peppers fan but I thought I would go to see what all the fuss was about and I'll tell you one thing - Now I know where all Barcelona's fit men are! Well I don't - where do they hide when there is no chili peppers concert?? All I know is that fit men in Barcelona exist, which is an important discovery I'm sure you'll agree.

So the concert was good - very hot- and when I came out I could literally wring out my t-shirt. Lurvely. And for all the fit men that there were I didn't even get a number :(

Ah well.

Technology. grr.

Today I accidently texted Garrulo when I meant to send the text to Loco. They have the same (non-blog) name.

Don't you hate it when that happens!


I have really got myself into some situations by doing that in the past. I remember one time when my ex did something to really piss me off, so I sent my friend a text raging about it. But I didn't send my friend the text did I. No, I sent it to my ex, who I then had to immediately phone and beg not to open the text, which bless his heart, he didn't and he let me delete it straight from his phone.
Well anyway, Garrulo hasn't replied.

waaaaa!

Last night we went to see Sergio Contreras - what a legend - he had dancers with silk scraves, break dancers spinning on their heads, gyrating hips and audience participation. Excellent.

Loco and Intercambio came along with Gracey, Lily and me although we lost them in the crowds.

Head Chicken also went. This is because he heard me listening to the CD and asked me about the artist whereby I happened to mention he would be playing in concert that very evening, so he went, and then told me it was the worst concert he had ever been to because it was very hot (true) and there were lots of garrulos (gypsies) (also true but amusing).

After the concert I had a dilemma. Worm was arriving and I had arranged to meet him and go with some other friends to Danzatoria but I didn't want Loco to see me with him (I have a crush) and so Lily (clever girl) dragged them off for food while I went to meet up with Worm.

I already knew before Worm came back that I didn't like him anymore. I don't know if it was because I had met Loco or some sixth sense type thing but I wasn't really relishing the idea of seeing him.

Worrying about how I was going to keep Loco and Worm separate for the night stopped me from enjoying the concert as much as I should have, and rightly so, as the night turned out to be a high stress disaster.

However, as much Lily tried, Loco and his mate still decided to come to Danzatoria, bad. Me, awkward, Loco, quiet as a mouse, Worm, bemused. It was all very stressful and at one point I was convinced that Chantelle had got it on with Loco especially as after I had said my goodbyes and gone to another club with Worm, Chantelle appeared with Loco. This really made me mad and so I decided if she and he would do that, then I would take Worm home. Which I did.

How I regret it.. I know all guys sometimes have issues etc.. but why do I choose the ones who always do. Yes, erectile disfunction - plus the fact I didn't really want to. What a mess. In the end we just ended up sleeping.

Then as a typical German, Worm decided to get up and go to the bathroom. Naked. And who should see him but intercambio, Loco's mate.

Looks like I can say goodbye to anything happening with Loco.

I spent the rest of the weekend reluctantly hanging out with Worm. I couldn't very well leave him on his own for the weekend. On Monday he had a job interview, he was then offered the job. He expects me to be delighted, which obviously I am not.

Woe is me.

Randomly my housemate Lily bumped into Loco in the street!

She took the initiative of acquring his phone number! Good girl!

I have now texted him and invited him to the concert...

Only problem is fucking Worm is coming this weekend.

Watch this space..

Why?

It’s that time again when I have to go out with my cousin in Sabadell. I am still not drinking so even though the cheese emporiums amuse me when drunk I am not sure whether they will hold the same enchantment when sober.

I am right. They are not nearly as much fun sober and when there is no alcohol to numb your high heeled feet they really hurt. And you get very tired.

I did, however, discover another disco named Malatsefestas, which has a great big BAYWATCH sign across the bar. It also has the obligatory semi-naked dancing barmaids and bar men and today a special treat – a fake tan demonstration that cuts short the music and has a woman spraying people with fake tan on the stage. Bizarre.

I became very tired far earlier than the first train is due to leave and so spend some time chatting with my cousin who has bought an apartment with Rat Steinberger. FOOL FOOL. I am aghast at this news. She is so young to be making such a commitment with such an idiot.

My favourite comments from the conversation.

(They only ever see each other at weekends) When we live together then we’ll really know whether we make a good couple or not besides we’ve already spent 2 weeks together on holiday.

AGGH! You should know that before you move in with someone.

Rat wants us to have children within 2 years

AGGH! Children? At 24? Are you mad woman?

I can take no more of this crazy speak and decide to go and wait on the cold platform for the train. As I am waiting a fight breaks out on the other side of the wall and young blokes run in and out of the station.. fascinating. The train pulls in and I decide to ask the chap sitting next to me what happened. He doesn’t appear to know but uses it as an opportunity to chat to me all the way home. He is a catalan musician who plays the sax (I think). He isn’t handsome and he reeks of beer. As soon as we reach my stop I run away as fast as I can.

On Saturday my housemate has been invited to a party by her intercambio and I decided to invite myself and Chuck decided to invite himself to wherever I was going. So the 3 of us went to meet Intercambio to go to this party. But first stop by a chupito bar (me still not drinking) I watch as the others down flaming idunnowhats and we then headed to the party. It was a skate party and so, not really my thing. I stood at started to chat with Intercambio’s mate who I shall call Loco. He seemed like a quiet little thing but the more I spoke to him, the more I thought, Hey – this is my kind of guy. We ended up ditching the party and going to another party in a swanky bar across town which was also dull. So we decided upon Arena – a big gay club in the center of Barcelona but where you normally tend to find more straight, leery pervs than actual gay men but it’s fun. By this point I was really quite fancying Loco and we had already started having little in jokes.. Besides intercambio and housemate were getting it on.

But besides that, I really liked him. I thought he was cute, funny and a little bit crazy J But I wasn’t particularly enamoured with his typical Catalan hairstyle i.e. the mullet.

I asked him if he wanted to come to a concert next week and he said he did.. :)

We all went for breakfast later and I ended up getting home at around 0830, I was so tired by this point and had fallen asleep at breakfast! So tired in fact that I forgot to give Loco my number or get his ... I now must find some way of acquiring it ..

I spend my Sunday drinking fruit juice on the beach front and going to the movies.

I watch Inside Man. It entertained me. I give it 7/10

18 May 2006

Today I had my first belly dancing lesson. I never realised that to perform this art you had to make high pitched dolphin noises.. My new teacher shakes her hips and then eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee come on ladies eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee.. Erm. No. I am not one for making noises while dancing. I really never realised that belly dancing was so complicated, you have to move each set of muscles and it really is quite difficult.

I have discovered that she has a hot Andalucian housemate with beautiful eyes. Mmmm. I should like to victimise him.

Barca Barca Baaaaaaaaarrrrrca

When your boss is a football fan, and by fan I mean obsessive, and you live in Barcelona, there is no escaping it. And so it was over 2 weeks ago that I knew where I would be watching the Champions League Barcelona vs. Arsenal Final. My boss has been reserving a table at the bar next door to work for most of the matches of the season with 2 places always saved for myself and the pumpkn (my Swedish work colleague )

Having seen the mayhem that ensued after the semi final win, it was clear that if Barcelona won this game then there would be one hell of a party to be had in the city, perhaps the biggest ever seen.

At 8pm my boss left to take his place at the bar and psychologically prepare himself for the match leaving me to lock up the school. The bar was full when I arrived although the members of our table were still to arrive and every new entrance was greeted with chants of Barca Barca BBBaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrca. With 2 of the usual suspects having obtained tickets for the actual match it left and unlikely troop of expat Barcelona “supporters” including 2 australians, 2 south Africans, 2 danes, 1 german, 1 french, 1 english, my boss (dutch), me and one solitary catalan.

The papers had already been announcing the victory with headlines such as “The Day of Glory has arrived” and such like and the atmosphere in Barcelona was buzzing if a little tense.

Sitting at the middle of the table I had the southern hemisphere crowd on one side of me and my boss and real followers on the other. Note: that the southern hemisphere crowd tend to come to every game but seem to have no real interest in football, the current match or who wins, they just like to enjoy the ride and tend to spend the vast majority of the match chatting about anything, everything and where they should go for dinner after the game.

At half time with only 1 (allowed) goal for arsenal in the first half, there was a nervy yet confident air in the place. I admittedly was torn, on one hand a win for arsenal would mean a good 9 hours sleep on the other hand a win for Barcelona and there would be no better place in the world to be than the city I was in.. no contest really!

45 minutes, 2 goals and a victory for Barcelona later we emerged out of the bar onto the streets of Barcelona already to find the mayhem beginning. Thousands of people had begun to pour into the streets, on foot, mopeds and in cars to join in the celebrations.

I saw something similar last year when Barça won something or other but this was even crazier, I walked down to Plaza Catalunya with Chuck and it was chaos. Thousands and thousands of people, drinking, smashing stuff (weeey). Walking down my street the roads were gridlocked with cars, mopeds, people, bikes all singing Barça Barça .. It was mad and extremely noisy. I could see that my bedtime would be postponed and it was .. until 4am..so unsurprisingly today I am sehr tired.

gggrrowl

So it's been a couple of weeks since the Garrulo incident and communication has virtually ceased. So much for an alleged boyfriend. he is now my alleged ex-bf.

The one occasion that I did speak to him he told me he's been ill and unable to use his mobile.

Bullshit? You decide. Whatever it is - I've had about enough.

A BBQ

We had the most perfect day just eating in the garden overlooking Montserrat. Most of us had caught the train, but one of the guys thought he would cycle all the way from Barcelona.. which I guess would’ve been fine if he had a map, and the people on the way hadn’t given him the wrong directions, which in the end meant he arrived at 6pm for a lunch time barbecue.

In the late afternoon we decided to go for a walk to a water hole about 40 minutes away, we scrabbled down the hillside and climbed boulders until we found it and then splashed like children in a gorgeous waterfall we found there, lots of the group decided to get naked but this was not for me, so the pleasures of the waterfall remain unknown.

I decided to ride one of the bikes that we had taken back to the house and as I sped along going faster and faster, I wondered to myself why I had ever stopped bike riding because it was really quite fun, and I was quite enjoying myself, until I reached a sharp curve and found myself unable to slow down in time …

I took the curve at a ridiculously fast speed, the bike wobbled but luckily didn’t fall, and I didn’t go over the edge but I scared myself shitless and remembered why I no longer rode a bike.

As well as being a beautiful spot for chillaxing, tree hugger’s garden also doubled up as a small marijuana plantation and when we got back from our walk we indulged in bread and green butter sprinkled with brown sugar, which was surprisingly tasty. I didn’t really notice any effect until I was on the train back to Barcelona and I started hysterically laughing to myself…

I spent the rest of the evening going to two unbelievably dull and boring parties and then I went for a drink with Tex and some of his friends although I spent most of the time in my own green butter little world..

Crossing a line

I returned home from my holiday with a kidney infection so decided to take the month off drinking to recuperate.

I had been prescribed antibiotics in Andalucia but was still in pain on my return so I decided to see the Doc here. The Doc here turned out to be a complete bitch who told me I had nothing more than muscular pain, prescribed very strong ibuprofens for 7 days and had to be convinced into letting me take a urine test, not even a blood test! Which was to be taken a week later, what a waste of time – por favor!

The Red Bull Air Race (6 May 2006)

Having seen the ads and the website, I thought that it might be an interesting way to pass a Sunday afternoon so off I went to meet Jack and co down at the beach.

Normally I like to walk down to the beach, takes about an hour but it’s good exercise but I decided to get the metro for timing purposes. What a mistake, I couldn’t even get to the platform there were so many people and so I had no choice but to walk.

I called Jack to find out his coordinates and he informed me that he was in an excellent spot with a great view. I was immediately suspicious, having seen the vast numbers of people on their way to the beach I suspected Jack had done something crazy like, climbing on top of a building for example. When I reached my destination I found the reality was worse, Jack was on top of a wooden trellis type construction used to provide shade to the restaurant tables

The only way up was to climb on a chair, then a table, then climb up a stack of wobbly plastic chairs which kept wobbling. I didn’t like my chances but decided to join the newly formed queue – lots of people had decided to follow Jack’s lead

Once I reached the top my nerve left me and I had to have my hand held as I tiptoed across the rickety wooden slats to sit on the edge. Urghh.. Fear.

I was surprised that no-one had come to throw us off yet as some of slats had already cracked and broken through due to imbeciles who sat in the middle instead of the concrete edge. My surprise didn’t last long however, as the Mossos soon appeared to get us all down. Jack, the little rebel that he is decided to rebel for as long as possible, while I tried to get down as soon as possible. I scrambled down the chairs and Jack swung down like a monkey, and swung, and swung while the Mossos looked on, slightly miffed. When he finally did let go they were on hand to hand out a bollocking.

We watched the planes for a while but I soon got bored and decided to make my way home. We had been invited to Chuck’s for supper and I had to get changed.

On my way home I had a bit of eye contact with a guy who then stopped, turned around and asked me for a light. I obliged, a mistake, the guy decided to try it on all the way up the Ramblas, this is nothing new, the Ramblas, Randoms and me are three things that seem intertwined. And to be fair he was fairly hot, but anyone who tries to pick women up on the Ramblas is not really for me.

I ran home, changed, met Gracey and ran out again. We hailed a taxi and my mobile rang. Garrulo – I haven’t heard from him in a week, I have no idea what’s going on. He tells me he is ill with an ear infection and has been in bed for a week. I am not sure whether to believe this or not but for the time being he is being given the benefit of the doubt.

Chuck prepared for us a delicious meal which was immensely tasty and he then brought out the Jaegermeister. Unfortunately I was unable to partake due to the old kidneys but when Grace and Jack left I decided to stay and watch a movie.

We watched Life Aquatic and he stroked my hair while I laid in his lap and stroked his leg. The stroking continued throughout the film and by the end I was seriously turned on.

Just recently I have been having dreams about kissing Chuck and was thinking about the possibility of fancying him. Which I never have, and in fact on the first day I met him I thought he was creepy.

At that moment I decided that I did fancy him and when he asked me if I was staying, my answer was yes.

I changed into a T-shirt of his and got into bed laying on his chest.. the stroking started up again but this time much friskier than before. At one point he stopped, sighed and exclaimed what are we doing?? I didn’t know or particularly care, I was horny as hell. It was when I tried to kiss him he stopped me and said

I’m sorry, I can’t kiss you.

Why not?

Because we’re friends and this would fuck things up.

I shrugged, sighed and rolled over and tried to sleep

The next day he got up while I was still sleeping and things were a little bit strained.

I decided walking home that I couldn’t tell anyone about this as there are already lots of people who think that he fancies me, not so many who think that I fancy him however. Well I now definitely know that he does not.

The next day I didn’t call him and I went for a huge dose of cinematic excitement in the form of Mission Impossible III with Andy. I then went home alone.

I spent the next week at home watching TV every night, trying to feel better about my kidneys but did agree to attend a BBQ at Grace’s tree hugging bf’s house in the countryside.

My alleged Boyfriend?

So for my birthday I had a party.

I invited all my friends and Garrulo (kind of) but not Beardman, definitely not.

It was going well, everyone was having a good time and Garrulo arrives with his Italian friend (I think she fancies him but that's another story). They are already both fairly drunk and within a short while I.F. has passed out so I put her to bed in my room.

I start off fairly cold towards Garrulo as I didn't exactly invite him, I invited his friend and assumed that he would come too. But as the evening wore on and he entertained my friends with his singing and semi-naked dancing we spoke more and he told me that he wanted something serious with me instead of this semi-on/off-fling we've been having.

He says this quite often, and I always say no, let's not rush blah blah. My normal commitment-phobe discourse but on this occasion after saying no a few times, he gave me an ultimatum - I want something serious with you, otherwise nothing.

Hmm. I like garrulo, he is crazy but I don't want to not see him. So maybe it was the alcohol, maybe the birthday euphoria, whatever it was I agreed.

I also disappeared into my housemate's bedroom to consummate the decision.

The party wound down and we (Garrulo and I) got into my bed with I.F., don't worry, I'm not that shameless, we didn't do anything more.

The next morning Garrulo was a little funny with me but I guessed his hangover was on a par with mine so thought nothing of it.

Over the next few days I received daily phone calls and messages and so I guess that allegedly he is now my boyfriend although I haven't seen him since and I'm now away for a few days.

Worm Doubts

Looking back it was perhaps foolish to think I could "love" someone after knowing them for a few hours..

All I can think of is the stubby toes..

And he's coming over to Barcelona for a job interview.

Aggggggggh

Why do I always get bored so soon?

Bad news

Went to a friend's house party at the weekend. I asked Garrulo if he wanted to come but fortunately he didn't make it in time.. We met later at a club where I discovered he was totally plastered and insisted on taking clothes off, on the dancefloor.. hmm

I ended up going home with him in a taxi, now I don't have a great recollection of the journey back but at one point I seem to recall him slapping me. Not cool. I think I said something to offend him but slapping me is not the answer. Nor is slapping anyone. This guy has issues.

Stood up

Well I've been in Valencia for a couple of days on work and on my return arranged to see Garrulo. He said he was working late but would come and collect me from my house and we'd go for dinner.

He called me a couple of times to say he'd be later than expected but in the end he stood me up.

Bastard.

Twats

Men are peculiar aren't they.

I was with Beardman last night, I know I know, but there I was. Anyway, when we're together alone I really feel that he likes me and wants to do other stuff, stuff that involves clothes and places that aren't bedrooms or sofas.. but then after not hearing from him for days, weeks, months I start to figure that maybe it was just man chat to get into my knickers again.

I had a nasty experience with a guy a couple of weeks ago. I'm in a club and a guy starts up a conversation with me, I don't have any particular desire to speak to this person but humour his nationalistic Catalan rant taking particular interest in his theory that Catalan men only use foreign girls for a quick shag and a bit of fun (hmm, could this be Beardman's logic) but if they are looking for a stable partner then they will always go for a Catalan girl. I don't know why he decided to impart this information to me, especially after finding out that I was a Guiri (Spanish word for foreigner) but he did and I listened before becoming bored and a little bit annoyed with his discourse and excused myself to go and dance.

I'm dancing away and said guy approaches me. I continue to dance, he tries to kiss me, I push him away and ask what the fuck he thinks he's doing. He replies that he thought I wanted to kiss him, I give a look of disgust move to another part of the dancefloor and continue dancing. He comes over again, grabs my head with both hands and tries to kiss me. I protest and push him away shouting some kind of insult before hurriedly leaving the club in shock.. feeling a little violated by his behaviour.

I was in the VIP area of a top club in one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world. But how many other men have the same opinion as him... Is this a view widely held by Catalan men? and does this explain why they are such fuckers when it comes to us unsuspecting guiri's?

My other thought regarding Beardman was that maybe he had a girlfriend. So when he left me sleeping when he went off to work, I did a little investigatory work to find evidence.

Bathroom - Mostly male/unisex products although did find some intimate cleansing gel. I thought only women used this?

Living room - Earrings and a Necklace!! Dun Dun DUH.. Could be his sister's or a friends.. but why would they have taken them off.

Unfortunately this is where my role as Inspector Gadget came to an end as I was late for work..

So the question still is: Why is Beardman such a twat?

Ho hum

Met a guy at the Kaiser Chiefs concert the other day. Another ex-pat new to Barcelona, swapped numbers so we could hang out one time.. Nothing more.

Hooked up on Friday night for a bit of partying, ended up back at his for some food and blah blah blah.

I don't think it will happen again.. Now we can quite happily be friends without any sexual tension cos we already have all that out of the way. And there wasn't any spark between the sheets anyway.

I do think he'll make a good drinking buddy though.

Grr

This weekend I had some friends visiting. As usual, I took them out and about, my favourite bars, nightclubs etc.. and who should I bump into but Beardman, who was very very drunk and didn't really seem all that excited to see me! How rude!

I had already told my friend that if I were to see him, I would be cool, composed and distant, yeh well that didn't go to plan.. and now Beardman probably thinks I'm chasing him

Grr.

Shameless Hussy? Yes I am

Well since my little depressive stage in January I have been on a roll on the man front.

Other than simultaneously dating (if it can be called that) Beardman and Garrulo, I also pulled on a ski weekend, met Worm, experienced my first Scandinavian lover and had a cheeky snog with a hot guy. Good work if I do say so myself.

I'm now off to England for a few days to take some time off.. or will I..

Someone else gets all the fun

My friend was over for a few days with the express intention of experiencing a Ninja Wenzday!

Well, I couldn't let him down so I grabbed some recruits and hit the town for a few bevvies.

Unfortunately my friend is allergic to alcohol and this has always seemed to make up such a large part of Ninja Wenzday.. although in the end he didn't seem to mind and we all ended up going home to my 38 yr old colleague's apartment for drinks. (By we I am referring to my colleague, My friend, my colleague's Swedish friend that I slept with a few weeks ago..

My friend ended up in said colleague's bed and swedish guy and I ended up trying to sleep on the sofa. No hanky panky.

I think judging from the smile on his face and the fact that he spent the rest of his time in Bcn shacked up with my colleague - my friend had a good time :)

Cupid strikes

Wow!

I actually think I've met a nice guy, like a really nice guy! I'll call him Worm. (Long story)

We met through mutual friends at a karaoke bar of all places. I thought he was quite hot. He saw me do my debut of "Linger" by the Cranberries very badly. But he still spoke to me after. Good sign.

I had already arranged to meet another friend to see the awesome Eric Morillo at Pacha so unfortunately could not stay long enough to see him sing, although we swapped numbers and he agreed to meet me there.

Unfortunately he couldn't get in for whatever reason so we arranged by text to meet the next day for a date! A real date! Check me out.

The date was sooo nice, we went and sat on the beach and chatted, and looked into each other's eyes, and let the tension build up before we kissed. We then walked along the beach and made promises to see each other again soon (he had to go back to Germany that afternoon) and I think it might be love.

The only thing is - he has stubby fingers and toes. I am quite parcial to long slender fingers (shallow, yes, deal with it), maybe I won't notice.

Ahhhh.

Carnaval 2006

Once again it was Carnaval in Barcelona..

Walking through the streets as a a cowboy I found myself passing fairys, ninjas, other cowboys, gangsters.. it was very surreal..

Like last year I wanted to go to the Sitges Carnaval parade but unfortunately as I had pulled the calf muscles in my right leg and was unable to walk I had to sack this off in favour of staying in and making pancakes.. there's always next year..