Kaiser Chiefs

On Saturday Gracey and I were VERY excited about going to see the Kaiser Chiefs in concert at a giant club called Razzmatazz here in Barcelona.

During the supporting acts (We are Scientists - also very good) I could hardly contain my excitement and thought I would have to go home, I perhaps should have because when they came on stage to the music of Dire Straits the crowd went WILD. Being at the front we were definitely at risk of acquiring a few new injuries.

The lead singer was amazing! In the song prior to I predict a riot he leapt into the crowd and ran through the thousands of people to the back of the room when he then crowd surfed to the front to the opening strains of the craziest song ever.. this was unfortunately when i decided to drop something and managed to fall over and get trampled in my quest to pick it back up.. Luckily two guys pulled me from the floor so I could continue to jump like a crazy thing.. higher than any Cacalan... however in doing so I also managed to pull calf muscle in my leg.. worth it? Hell yes.

Gorgeous Siblings

So this weekend I discovered that my work colleague has the most gorgeous brother ever. EVER.

He was visiting with his friend and my colleague had asked if I would like to join them on a night out. Why not, I thought, while cleverly devising a plan. We were to frequent the same nightclub where I generally seem to come accross Beardman. Having not heard from Beardman in a while I thought it would do him good to see me on the arm of another guy. My colleague also thought this was a good plan as she was to use the friend to make her love interest jealous. This was before I met the brother - I just wanted to be seen with a guy - not left with a desire to eat him alive! I think my mouth gaped open when I first saw him and all plans sailed out of the window until I found out my colleague had already told him about the plan. Damn.

It was a strange kind of a night, lots of champagne was consumed and I was fairly drunk. I didn't see Beardman but I did see Manu (a guy I tried to chat up unsuccessfully a few weeks ago), I tried once again to get in there but unfortunately his friend, the circus clown, fancied me. I've chatted with the circus clown a few times before and in fact asked him about his friend Manu when Manu hasn't been there, so obviously knowing that I fancied Manu I didn't think it was fair of him to stake his claim thus not allowing Manu to give me his number. which I am sure he wanted to do.

So there I am, eyeing up Manu whilst dancing with a circus clown having orignally arrived with my colleague's gorgeous brother, who I wanted to use to make Beardman jealous.

Who gets the snog?

Answers on a postcard

El Garrulo

So man number 2 currently is el garrulo (chav more or less in English).

They don't really have chavs as such in Spain but upon seeing him or observing his behaviour it is hihgly likely he would be classed as Garrulo.

Characteristics of garrulos

Boys

• Gold Jewellery
• Tattoos
• Souped up Seat Ibiza that usually blares out "flamenquito" style music
• A tendency to say "Que pasaaaaaa nen" (Neng is a TV garrulo who has this as his catchphrase)
  
• A two-toned hairstyle (mullet optional)

Garrulo Girls

• Gold Jewellery - even more than boys
• Tatoos
• Boyfriends with souped up (tuned in Spanish) Seat Ibizas
• Scraped Back Ponytail
• Extremely tight, low cut trousers regardless of body shape or size
• Tight, short zip up tops regardless of body shape and size

What are you doing with a Garrulo? I hear you cry. Well, for some peculiar reason I find myself strangely attracted to them, Mr C was also a bit of a Garrulo and although he does not fulfil all of the requirements he fills enough for me to stereotype him in this way.

• Gold Jewellery - Not necessarily gold but does own a variety of chains and bracelets.
• Tatoos - Hell Yes. A huge panther entwined with a woman accross his back.
• Souped up car - not so much. Flamenquito music - all the way
• Que pasa nen? and other garrulo vocabulary

Well, love is blind or so they say, although I do wish to point out that I am not in love.. We bonded over our fellow passion for a flamenquito artist who I though no-one had heard of. I was wrong. Anyway don't have much time so more on this soon!

PS: Photo shows typical garrulo, not the garrulo.

Beardman

Beard man.

So Saturday night I was out partying as usual and for some reason I was very very very drunk. I think we'd been to a leaving party, then to a bar with my boss then on to a club.. the same club as normal.

The previous night, while out with my new housemate Chuck and another male friend, I had ended up meeting a very nice and good looking guy in the club while trying to entertain myself as they fought over the same girl. Unfortunately when it came down to obtaining telephone number information I had managed to crash and burn but ever hopeful I was thinking that there was some remote possibility of him perhaps being there again.

Unfortunately by the time we got to the club the events of the night begin to blur slightly for me.. I remember seeing the hot guys friends and passing on some kind of message.. I also remember dancing with a number of randoms.

What I didn't really remember was dirty dancing with some guy and kissing him.. I was informed of these events on Monday although I had found it very strange that I had been receving text messages from a random guy.. I had clearly given him my number.

So after asking for a description of the guy, we between us, managed to ascertain that he was somewhat taller than me, well dressed, with short dark hair and disturbingly.. a beard.

We agreed to meet up one night in the week for a drink as he happened to be out with his friends and I was out with my housemate and the michelin chef but there was only so long I could hang around in a bar waiting for the guy and so we left. The second I leave he calls, and tells me that he refuses to chase after me all night! the cheek. I was getting panicky anyway because I had NO idea what the guy looked like apart from what I had been told and people's beer goggles are hardly a reliable source of information

On Friday I agreed to meet my work colleague, and we ended up in the club.. lo and behold, beardman is there... I am once again totally wankered.. but I remember leaving the club with him and him trying to convince me to go home with him but I made up some ridiculous excuses and insisted in being dropped off at my own house, which he was totally fine with and then sent me some message to say how nice it was seeing me bla bla and how he'd like to sleep with me in his arms.

Anyway on Sunday I heard from him again and he asked if I would like to go round and watch a DVD. Obviously I was well aware that this was merely a ploy to get into my knickers but I didn't really give a damn.

So I went over to his place and met his cat and .. well .. we ended up in bed having the most amazing sex ever.

In the morning he left me asleep when he went to work and I was awoken by his crazy cat licking my nose! It was very cute.

So I went off to work and decided that I would text him to say I'd had a nice night etcetc.. which I did..and then I waited... and waited...... and waited............... for a reply which was not forthcoming for THREE whole days and then only said something along the lines of.. My phone was broken, have just seen your message, I had a good time too

MEN!!!

Anti-Valentine's

Another Valentines Day - Another day without cards or flowers but not to worry.. I at least had a plan!

My colleague and I had been invited for dinner with my boss, his wife, and some friends of his who were here for the GSM conference.

We started in a really nice tiny restuarant eating delicious food in the wine cellar as there was not enough space for the ten of us in the rest of the place.

I was sat between a guy that producers short porn and horror films and the editor of a travel guide.. by the end of the meal I had got myself 2 new jobs...

Contributing to Travel Guide Barcelona as bar guide
Writing Porn for women.

All in a night's work.

Non-Skiing Continued

After around 2 hours the train slowly pulled up and we all (now freezing, damp and covered in snow) piled on. The train pulled away inch by inch and then shortly after reversed inch by inch. This happened several times before it came to a complete stop and the driver and his wingman appeared from their booth with a meaningful look in their eyes. They surveyed the carriage and approached one of the snowboards leaning against the carriage wall. The driver picks it up and asks

"Who's is this?"

One of our group replied that it was his

"I need it, don't mind do you." replied the driver and with that he opened the train door and jumped off into waist deep snow, and then, I kid you not, he proceeded to use the snowboard to shovel snow from in front of the train.

It had snowed soo heavily during the previous few hours and the lack of trainage had meant that the track was covered in deep snow making it nigh on impossible for the train to get through, hence the reversing forwarding motion to try and cut through the snow.

Well after about 10 minutes of shovelling the driver decided that this wasn't going to work (no shit) so he announced to the train his new plan... He would reverse as far back as he could and then accelerate to top speed in his hope to push through all the snow. We're all going to die - was my one and only thought. A miracle occurred and we somehow, after a very frightening journey, arrived back!

We then had a 20 minute walk back to the cottages freezing, soaking, tired and generally in a bad mood. At this point half the group bought food at a local shop and the other half went for dinner. We later met up at the cottages for an evening of karaoke and drunkeness. Which was very fun! I made my karaoke debut and it has to be said - I loved it, once up there I did not want the spotlight off of me.. this could also be due to copius amounts of rum and coke by who knows.

At 3am I decided I would go for a bit of late night sledging. One of the guys, known to the group as jetman .. can't remember his real name.. decided to come with me.. and well, often in midnight sledging one thing leads to another and we ended up very heavy petting in a doorway of a nearby cottage and accidentally leaning on the doorbell. Oop..

The next day it was decided that after breakfast we would return to Barcelona as skiing was not an option.. In the evening we met up for some drinks as a final ending to the weekend and ended up in café real doing some crazy dance moves. Now, even though most people knew about the jetman thing it didn't stop most people coming up to me and telling me that I made a good match with J.T. (the amusing irishman), J.T. was also doing his share of flirting and dancing and somehow by the end of the evening we had managed to get separated from the rest of the group.

As we left the club and wandered around trying to find late night falafel, we were approached by the usual array of beer sellers, hookers and drug pushers. I wasn't after drugs but struck up a conversation with one such vendor as I noticed he had a bad of falafels and I wished to know where he had obtained them. Unfortunately his source was closed, but being a kind of generous fellow he donated 2 falafels to my cause.

Well, having lost the others, and his way back to his hotel, I invited him to my house where he turned out to be the NOISIEST person I have ever slept with. I thought he would wake all the neighbours not to mention my housemates... We did the obligatory swapping numbers thing but anymore of that and I think I would end up deafened.. and so that was the end of that.