Chocolate eggs...

By the way, if anyone loves chocolate as much as me, check out the chance to win a delicious looking chocolate egg... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

The end of my reign

Today marks the end of an era.

The last day in the apartment where I've spent the last 2 and a bit years. This morning I walked to work for the last time from that home.

I am quite sad... actually I'm very sad. I've had a blast, massive parties, video nights, dinners that went on for hours, so many friends to stay, drunken antics, wild sex, this place has seen it all..

All my stuff is packed away and ready to be moved and all my memories are stored in my head.

After 6 months of builders rebuilding the balcony, this week they finally finished it.. just in time for me never to be able to use it.

Am I doing the right thing moving in with Loco? What if it all goes wrong? Why am I thinking these things now? Will I ever get used to country life? If I do does that make me a bumpkin? If I don't, am I then doomed to a life of misery forever outside the boundaries of urban comfort?

So many questions.. so much confusion.. so too late for second thoughts and cold feet..

Whatever happened to... The Garrulo?

Remember this guy?

Well, although we have had virtually no contact since that fateful party, yesterday I was speaking with his (now ex) best friend and I asked after him.

It would seem that he was made redundant from his job, spent his redundancy money on cocaine, started hanging around with a group of undesirables, missed his best friend's wedding and is now completely out of control and won't listen to anyone.

Looks like I had a lucky escape.

I also feel very bad for him and wish I could do something to help. I think he is just a lost sheep.

The Apartment of Destiny

So after packing box after box after suitcase after box, and moving and unpacking and building furniture and sorting and tidying, the move is nearly complete.

Now the difficult task of reforming an entire apartment will begin. Just thinking about it renders me autistic and unable to focus my attentions on anything else. at all. I speak, eat and sleep - apartment, furniture, walls, kitchens - agh it's driving me mad. God knows what I'll be like when we actually have to choose these things and its not just in my head...

The apartment is actually very badly distributed in terms of space and walls etc, if I had my way I would knock all the interior walls down and start again. Loco won't let me though. Grr.

Prepare yourselves for lots of apartment chat - it's worse than being pregnant.

WAAAYHL (When acronyms are all you have left)

According to this if I was living in the UK, in my home county, earning in pounds what I do in euros, purchasing 8 pints, 8 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of spirits a month with no car I would save next year 63.46 GBP a year.

However, I live in Spain so none of this is applicable. The things we do to waste time.

Things are still slow on the interesting happenings front but in order to post something, anything, here is a summary of interesting happening's of the week (IHOW)

• The weather is vvvvvvvvveeeeeeeerrrrrrrrryyyyyyy cold. Spain is currently experiencing an an artic weather wave which does not please me after months of sun, heat and beach.
• Speaking of beach, during my recent visit home to the UK, I purchased 6, yes 6, new bikinis.
• I am now on a diet to fit into said bikinis. Not helped by colleague bringing me home made brownies and Loco taking me for dinner.
• I also cancelled my gym membership...
• Will I ever fit into my bikinis?
• 10 days until the big move to the pueblo.. eek. will I become a bumpkin?
• I saw a classic example of a sooped up Spanish car, a crap heap painted garish colours with all brand marking taking off, windows tinted and spoilers attached. I wanted to take a photo but unfortunately I did not have my camera and for some reason my phone will not let me transfer photos to 'puter. sigh.

That's all for now folks, tune in next time for the next thrilling installment of IHOW.

Slow slow

Hello,

Got back last night from a weekend in blighty, where the fields are green and the sun was shining, until that is, I had to get on my flight back to Spain and a mini-hurricane started causing extreme turbulence on my plane and a vast desire to chuck up the delicious pret sandwich I wolfed down before getting on the plane.

That aside, I managed to surprise my mum for mother's day and presented her with a gift pack from Lush, which she was pleased with. I happen to hate Lush, going in to buy her present was a trauma. The stuff stinks to high heaven and having the shop assistant thrust the foul smelling bath balls under my nose did not please me.

Usually on my visits home I like to indulge in a whole array of culinary delights not available in Spain, like good chinese food, fish and chips, sausage sandwiches etc etc. Unfortunately, I didn't have much time so I had to make to with a couple of sausages and a cheese and pickle sandwich...

It's been a slow kind of week!

Learning something new

I had a pretty quiet weekend, playing on the Wii, walking in the mountain, eating pizza and watching the Barça game.

When I first started dating Loco I was unaware that I would become a football widow. I think he hid his obsession with football from me and only let it show when I was well and truly hooked. He says that I just chose not to see it and besides, I met him when the football season was already over.

I don't know how I failed to see the signs, he went away to Germany to watch the world cup for god's sake. Plus an unhealthy obsession with Pro-Evo, maybe he's right and I did just choose not to see it.

Yesterday we tried to go to the beach but it was absolutely packed, there was nowhere to park. We thought we saw someone about to leave so Loco wound down the window to ask, just as they replied that they were not leaving, someone in the space behind us decided to leave. Loco went to reverse but in that moment Audi prick appears and says

"Oh no, that space is mine"

"Ermm. Hang on. You've just arrived, that space is ours."

"No, no, voy yo" (no no i'm going) with the smuggest look on his face. Loco chose to drive off as he isn't a very confrontational person, but oh my, the guy was such a prick. It was just his tone of voice that did it.. "no no"... fucker. I hope someone keys his damn audi.

We spent a while longer looking for a space but there was none to be found to we went up to the mountain for a walk instead. On the way I saw a truck drive down the road with big lights shinig on the back of it. On closer inspection there was another car on the back of the truck and they were filming it. And to think I always thought that the people in films were actually driving themselves! You learn something new everyday. I hear Woody Allen is filming his latest flick in Barcelona.. to think that maybe he was filming on my street...

Today I am incredibly tired and can hardly keep my eyes open.. bring on home time.

A weekend on the slopes - Part II

Andorra, a small country in the Pyrenees between France and Spain, is a peculiar kindofa place.

Accustomed as we are nowadays to the anti-smoking propaganda all around us, anti-smoking laws, huge taxes on cigarettes, no tobacco ads etc etc, it comes as a shock to visit Andorra and all of a sudden be bombarded with pro-smoking campaigns wherever you look.

Huge billboards line the roads with ads for Marlborough, like you used to see in the old days. Most bars, shops and restaurants are sponsored by some kind of tobacco firm and you can buy cigarettes pretty much anywhere and although the cigarettes are ridiculously cheap, they still offer free gifts on pretty much every carton of fags to tempt you to buy them. Even I was tempted, a free frisbee could come in pretty darn handy.

It comes as no surprise then, that you can smoke wherever you damn well like.

It came as a surprise to me. Since 1st January 2006, Barcelona has introduced anti-smoking laws and so lots of my favourite haunts are now smoke free, which to be honest, I quite like. Andorra is like going back in time, to a time when smoking was good for your health, ok so it was never good for your health,but to a time where smokers weren't reviled by society and smoking was a perfectly normal thing to do. Go itno any bar, restaurant and café or shop and come out stinking like an ashtray. Nice.

I wondered during my short visit, what the costs of smokers to Andorra's health service must be, as it seems that everyone in Andorra smokes...

Oh and don't think you can go there and stock up.. oh no.. these crazy discounted cigarettes (and booze) aren't for everyone. As Andorra isn't in the EU, you gotta pass through customs on your way out and more often than not they stop your car and search it. Just grrreat, especially if you forget your passport, like some people. Ho hum.

And another thing, Andorranos (people from Andorra) are complete and utter maniacs on the road. Yes, I have seen how they drive in Paris, Rome and Madrid and even Santo Domingo with its lack of road signals, but trust me, this is NOTHING compared to what Andorran lunatics get up to. Overtaking on treacheous busy mountain curves, yep they'll have some of that. Overtaking 5 cars in a row on said road, no problem. These people are seriously dangerous and have no regard for their own lives or anyone elses... Bear in mind that during winter months the mountain roads are often icy and slippy, it doesn't actually bear thinking about. Fucking kamikaze nutters. I think the journey up there may have scared me more than the actual skiing.

Bet you all wanna go and visit Andorra now :P

Talking of skiing, day 2 on the pistes was somewhat better, I didn't fall over, and I didn't crash into any small children. I also had no control of my skis so I think this lack of accidents was more down to luck than skill.

All in all after my brushes with lung cancer, traffic accidents and the dangerous world of skiing it's lucky I'm alive =)

Maybe next year I should ask Nintendo to invent a new skiing game for the WII and then I can just stay at home...

A weekend on the slopes - part 1

So I am alive. Just. It's been a long time since I went skiing and now I remember why.

I wake up at 6am, somewhat concerned about the day ahead. Arriving at the pistes having lugged my skis all the way up the mountain and in the egg (cable car) I set them down and tried to recall how to ski. I am trembling with fear. Loco thinks I am a nutcase. Loco doesn't realise physical activities and I do not mix. at all. ever.

Loco "Just snow plough and you'll be fine"

He fails to remind me how to turn and how to stop. So as I put on my skis facing downwards on a slope I start to slide off down the mountain at an alarming rate of knots...

"AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I don't know how to stop.
or turn.
OR STOP.
AGHH. A SMALL CHILD!
SMALL CHILD GETOUTTATHEWAY MOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...."

CRASH BANG WALLOP

small child and I find ourselves in a tangled crumpled heap on the snow. I have snow up my sleeve. small child has a bleeding mouth. I appear to be fairly injury fre.

Small child insists he is ok. I demand a private instructor now now now.

Loco gets me a private instructor who is tanned and handsome and reminds me how to ski, well we start from scratch and after a hesitant start I am soon snow plowing, turning and stopping. Happy Days! He tells me I am a natural, I only fall over once. After an hour I am very tired and extremely hot and pack up my skis for the day.

The weather is incredible, at least 24c, the mountain is like a beach with snow. Everyone else is also very hot and the snow has started to melt and become slushy so we make our way back down in the egg, to Andorra town for lunch, where I get pissed. :) Lots of the group have tomato faces and white marks from their glasses. Not me - I have my factor 30. After a siesta we go shopping for a while, have dinner at the hotel, and then watch some of the Barça game. Oblivious to the eclipse of the moon we totter off back to the hotel to bed ;)

5 things

A summary of my week

Ireland: Didn't see him at all. Feel a bit bad but have scored points with Loco.

Skiiing: Off tomorrow, hope there is snow. Also hope I don't break any bones .

Wii: It's still fun, have now discovered how to connect to the internet and blog lurk from there. hehehe.

Housing: At the end of March I will become homeless as my contract runs out on the apartment. Suegra (mother-in-law) is very pleased about this as it means that I can go and stay with her until Loco and I move into his apartment together. It's all getting serious!

Cleaning the street: A curiosity - In Spain most people live in apartment blocks. Some apartment blocks have a portera o portero, usually a surly old witch, who watches over who comes in and out and the building, deals with post and is responible for general upkeep and cleaniness of commnunal areas inside the block. However, many porteras/os feel it is their duty to clean the pavement just in front of their apartment by sweeping away any leaves, cigarette butts and other litter. They generally sweep it in front of a neighbouring apartment block. I have even seen some porteras go as fas as to mop the pavement. What purpose does this serve? Does anyone even notice if the pavement in front of one building has less leaves than in front of another?