A weekend on the slopes - part 1

So I am alive. Just. It's been a long time since I went skiing and now I remember why.

I wake up at 6am, somewhat concerned about the day ahead. Arriving at the pistes having lugged my skis all the way up the mountain and in the egg (cable car) I set them down and tried to recall how to ski. I am trembling with fear. Loco thinks I am a nutcase. Loco doesn't realise physical activities and I do not mix. at all. ever.

Loco "Just snow plough and you'll be fine"

He fails to remind me how to turn and how to stop. So as I put on my skis facing downwards on a slope I start to slide off down the mountain at an alarming rate of knots...

"AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I don't know how to stop.
or turn.
OR STOP.
AGHH. A SMALL CHILD!
SMALL CHILD GETOUTTATHEWAY MOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...."

CRASH BANG WALLOP

small child and I find ourselves in a tangled crumpled heap on the snow. I have snow up my sleeve. small child has a bleeding mouth. I appear to be fairly injury fre.

Small child insists he is ok. I demand a private instructor now now now.

Loco gets me a private instructor who is tanned and handsome and reminds me how to ski, well we start from scratch and after a hesitant start I am soon snow plowing, turning and stopping. Happy Days! He tells me I am a natural, I only fall over once. After an hour I am very tired and extremely hot and pack up my skis for the day.

The weather is incredible, at least 24c, the mountain is like a beach with snow. Everyone else is also very hot and the snow has started to melt and become slushy so we make our way back down in the egg, to Andorra town for lunch, where I get pissed. :) Lots of the group have tomato faces and white marks from their glasses. Not me - I have my factor 30. After a siesta we go shopping for a while, have dinner at the hotel, and then watch some of the Barça game. Oblivious to the eclipse of the moon we totter off back to the hotel to bed ;)