So it's been a couple of weeks since the Garrulo incident and communication has virtually ceased. So much for an alleged boyfriend. he is now my alleged ex-bf.
The one occasion that I did speak to him he told me he's been ill and unable to use his mobile.
Bullshit? You decide. Whatever it is - I've had about enough.
We had the most perfect day just eating in the garden overlooking Montserrat. Most of us had caught the train, but one of the guys thought he would cycle all the way from Barcelona.. which I guess would’ve been fine if he had a map, and the people on the way hadn’t given him the wrong directions, which in the end meant he arrived at 6pm for a lunch time barbecue.
In the late afternoon we decided to go for a walk to a water hole about 40 minutes away, we scrabbled down the hillside and climbed boulders until we found it and then splashed like children in a gorgeous waterfall we found there, lots of the group decided to get naked but this was not for me, so the pleasures of the waterfall remain unknown.
I decided to ride one of the bikes that we had taken back to the house and as I sped along going faster and faster, I wondered to myself why I had ever stopped bike riding because it was really quite fun, and I was quite enjoying myself, until I reached a sharp curve and found myself unable to slow down in time …
I took the curve at a ridiculously fast speed, the bike wobbled but luckily didn’t fall, and I didn’t go over the edge but I scared myself shitless and remembered why I no longer rode a bike.
As well as being a beautiful spot for chillaxing, tree hugger’s garden also doubled up as a small marijuana plantation and when we got back from our walk we indulged in bread and green butter sprinkled with brown sugar, which was surprisingly tasty. I didn’t really notice any effect until I was on the train back to Barcelona and I started hysterically laughing to myself…
I spent the rest of the evening going to two unbelievably dull and boring parties and then I went for a drink with Tex and some of his friends although I spent most of the time in my own green butter little world..
I returned home from my holiday with a kidney infection so decided to take the month off drinking to recuperate.
I had been prescribed antibiotics in Andalucia but was still in pain on my return so I decided to see the Doc here. The Doc here turned out to be a complete bitch who told me I had nothing more than muscular pain, prescribed very strong ibuprofens for 7 days and had to be convinced into letting me take a urine test, not even a blood test! Which was to be taken a week later, what a waste of time – por favor!
The Red Bull Air Race (6 May 2006)
Having seen the ads and the website, I thought that it might be an interesting way to pass a Sunday afternoon so off I went to meet Jack and co down at the beach.
Normally I like to walk down to the beach, takes about an hour but it’s good exercise but I decided to get the metro for timing purposes. What a mistake, I couldn’t even get to the platform there were so many people and so I had no choice but to walk.
I called Jack to find out his coordinates and he informed me that he was in an excellent spot with a great view. I was immediately suspicious, having seen the vast numbers of people on their way to the beach I suspected Jack had done something crazy like, climbing on top of a building for example. When I reached my destination I found the reality was worse, Jack was on top of a wooden trellis type construction used to provide shade to the restaurant tables
The only way up was to climb on a chair, then a table, then climb up a stack of wobbly plastic chairs which kept wobbling. I didn’t like my chances but decided to join the newly formed queue – lots of people had decided to follow Jack’s lead
Once I reached the top my nerve left me and I had to have my hand held as I tiptoed across the rickety wooden slats to sit on the edge. Urghh.. Fear.
I was surprised that no-one had come to throw us off yet as some of slats had already cracked and broken through due to imbeciles who sat in the middle instead of the concrete edge. My surprise didn’t last long however, as the Mossos soon appeared to get us all down. Jack, the little rebel that he is decided to rebel for as long as possible, while I tried to get down as soon as possible. I scrambled down the chairs and Jack swung down like a monkey, and swung, and swung while the Mossos looked on, slightly miffed. When he finally did let go they were on hand to hand out a bollocking.
We watched the planes for a while but I soon got bored and decided to make my way home. We had been invited to Chuck’s for supper and I had to get changed.
On my way home I had a bit of eye contact with a guy who then stopped, turned around and asked me for a light. I obliged, a mistake, the guy decided to try it on all the way up the Ramblas, this is nothing new, the Ramblas, Randoms and me are three things that seem intertwined. And to be fair he was fairly hot, but anyone who tries to pick women up on the Ramblas is not really for me.
I ran home, changed, met Gracey and ran out again. We hailed a taxi and my mobile rang. Garrulo – I haven’t heard from him in a week, I have no idea what’s going on. He tells me he is ill with an ear infection and has been in bed for a week. I am not sure whether to believe this or not but for the time being he is being given the benefit of the doubt.
Chuck prepared for us a delicious meal which was immensely tasty and he then brought out the Jaegermeister. Unfortunately I was unable to partake due to the old kidneys but when Grace and Jack left I decided to stay and watch a movie.
We watched Life Aquatic and he stroked my hair while I laid in his lap and stroked his leg. The stroking continued throughout the film and by the end I was seriously turned on.
Just recently I have been having dreams about kissing Chuck and was thinking about the possibility of fancying him. Which I never have, and in fact on the first day I met him I thought he was creepy.
At that moment I decided that I did fancy him and when he asked me if I was staying, my answer was yes.
I changed into a T-shirt of his and got into bed laying on his chest.. the stroking started up again but this time much friskier than before. At one point he stopped, sighed and exclaimed what are we doing?? I didn’t know or particularly care, I was horny as hell. It was when I tried to kiss him he stopped me and said
I’m sorry, I can’t kiss you.
Why not?
Because we’re friends and this would fuck things up.
I shrugged, sighed and rolled over and tried to sleep
The next day he got up while I was still sleeping and things were a little bit strained.
I decided walking home that I couldn’t tell anyone about this as there are already lots of people who think that he fancies me, not so many who think that I fancy him however. Well I now definitely know that he does not.
The next day I didn’t call him and I went for a huge dose of cinematic excitement in the form of Mission Impossible III with Andy. I then went home alone.
I spent the next week at home watching TV every night, trying to feel better about my kidneys but did agree to attend a BBQ at Grace’s tree hugging bf’s house in the countryside.
So for my birthday I had a party.
I invited all my friends and Garrulo (kind of) but not Beardman, definitely not.
It was going well, everyone was having a good time and Garrulo arrives with his Italian friend (I think she fancies him but that's another story). They are already both fairly drunk and within a short while I.F. has passed out so I put her to bed in my room.
I start off fairly cold towards Garrulo as I didn't exactly invite him, I invited his friend and assumed that he would come too. But as the evening wore on and he entertained my friends with his singing and semi-naked dancing we spoke more and he told me that he wanted something serious with me instead of this semi-on/off-fling we've been having.
He says this quite often, and I always say no, let's not rush blah blah. My normal commitment-phobe discourse but on this occasion after saying no a few times, he gave me an ultimatum - I want something serious with you, otherwise nothing.
Hmm. I like garrulo, he is crazy but I don't want to not see him. So maybe it was the alcohol, maybe the birthday euphoria, whatever it was I agreed.
I also disappeared into my housemate's bedroom to consummate the decision.
The party wound down and we (Garrulo and I) got into my bed with I.F., don't worry, I'm not that shameless, we didn't do anything more.
The next morning Garrulo was a little funny with me but I guessed his hangover was on a par with mine so thought nothing of it.
Over the next few days I received daily phone calls and messages and so I guess that allegedly he is now my boyfriend although I haven't seen him since and I'm now away for a few days.
Looking back it was perhaps foolish to think I could "love" someone after knowing them for a few hours..
All I can think of is the stubby toes..
And he's coming over to Barcelona for a job interview.
Aggggggggh
Why do I always get bored so soon?
Went to a friend's house party at the weekend. I asked Garrulo if he wanted to come but fortunately he didn't make it in time.. We met later at a club where I discovered he was totally plastered and insisted on taking clothes off, on the dancefloor.. hmm
I ended up going home with him in a taxi, now I don't have a great recollection of the journey back but at one point I seem to recall him slapping me. Not cool. I think I said something to offend him but slapping me is not the answer. Nor is slapping anyone. This guy has issues.
Well I've been in Valencia for a couple of days on work and on my return arranged to see Garrulo. He said he was working late but would come and collect me from my house and we'd go for dinner.
He called me a couple of times to say he'd be later than expected but in the end he stood me up.
Bastard.
Men are peculiar aren't they.
I was with Beardman last night, I know I know, but there I was. Anyway, when we're together alone I really feel that he likes me and wants to do other stuff, stuff that involves clothes and places that aren't bedrooms or sofas.. but then after not hearing from him for days, weeks, months I start to figure that maybe it was just man chat to get into my knickers again.
I had a nasty experience with a guy a couple of weeks ago. I'm in a club and a guy starts up a conversation with me, I don't have any particular desire to speak to this person but humour his nationalistic Catalan rant taking particular interest in his theory that Catalan men only use foreign girls for a quick shag and a bit of fun (hmm, could this be Beardman's logic) but if they are looking for a stable partner then they will always go for a Catalan girl. I don't know why he decided to impart this information to me, especially after finding out that I was a Guiri (Spanish word for foreigner) but he did and I listened before becoming bored and a little bit annoyed with his discourse and excused myself to go and dance.
I'm dancing away and said guy approaches me. I continue to dance, he tries to kiss me, I push him away and ask what the fuck he thinks he's doing. He replies that he thought I wanted to kiss him, I give a look of disgust move to another part of the dancefloor and continue dancing. He comes over again, grabs my head with both hands and tries to kiss me. I protest and push him away shouting some kind of insult before hurriedly leaving the club in shock.. feeling a little violated by his behaviour.
I was in the VIP area of a top club in one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world. But how many other men have the same opinion as him... Is this a view widely held by Catalan men? and does this explain why they are such fuckers when it comes to us unsuspecting guiri's?
My other thought regarding Beardman was that maybe he had a girlfriend. So when he left me sleeping when he went off to work, I did a little investigatory work to find evidence.
Bathroom - Mostly male/unisex products although did find some intimate cleansing gel. I thought only women used this?
Living room - Earrings and a Necklace!! Dun Dun DUH.. Could be his sister's or a friends.. but why would they have taken them off.
Unfortunately this is where my role as Inspector Gadget came to an end as I was late for work..
So the question still is: Why is Beardman such a twat?
Met a guy at the Kaiser Chiefs concert the other day. Another ex-pat new to Barcelona, swapped numbers so we could hang out one time.. Nothing more.
Hooked up on Friday night for a bit of partying, ended up back at his for some food and blah blah blah.
I don't think it will happen again.. Now we can quite happily be friends without any sexual tension cos we already have all that out of the way. And there wasn't any spark between the sheets anyway.
I do think he'll make a good drinking buddy though.
This weekend I had some friends visiting. As usual, I took them out and about, my favourite bars, nightclubs etc.. and who should I bump into but Beardman, who was very very drunk and didn't really seem all that excited to see me! How rude!
I had already told my friend that if I were to see him, I would be cool, composed and distant, yeh well that didn't go to plan.. and now Beardman probably thinks I'm chasing him
Grr.
Well since my little depressive stage in January I have been on a roll on the man front.
Other than simultaneously dating (if it can be called that) Beardman and Garrulo, I also pulled on a ski weekend, met Worm, experienced my first Scandinavian lover and had a cheeky snog with a hot guy. Good work if I do say so myself.
I'm now off to England for a few days to take some time off.. or will I..
My friend was over for a few days with the express intention of experiencing a Ninja Wenzday!
Well, I couldn't let him down so I grabbed some recruits and hit the town for a few bevvies.
Unfortunately my friend is allergic to alcohol and this has always seemed to make up such a large part of Ninja Wenzday.. although in the end he didn't seem to mind and we all ended up going home to my 38 yr old colleague's apartment for drinks. (By we I am referring to my colleague, My friend, my colleague's Swedish friend that I slept with a few weeks ago..
My friend ended up in said colleague's bed and swedish guy and I ended up trying to sleep on the sofa. No hanky panky.
I think judging from the smile on his face and the fact that he spent the rest of his time in Bcn shacked up with my colleague - my friend had a good time :)
Wow!
I actually think I've met a nice guy, like a really nice guy! I'll call him Worm. (Long story)
We met through mutual friends at a karaoke bar of all places. I thought he was quite hot. He saw me do my debut of "Linger" by the Cranberries very badly. But he still spoke to me after. Good sign.
I had already arranged to meet another friend to see the awesome Eric Morillo at Pacha so unfortunately could not stay long enough to see him sing, although we swapped numbers and he agreed to meet me there.
Unfortunately he couldn't get in for whatever reason so we arranged by text to meet the next day for a date! A real date! Check me out.
The date was sooo nice, we went and sat on the beach and chatted, and looked into each other's eyes, and let the tension build up before we kissed. We then walked along the beach and made promises to see each other again soon (he had to go back to Germany that afternoon) and I think it might be love.
The only thing is - he has stubby fingers and toes. I am quite parcial to long slender fingers (shallow, yes, deal with it), maybe I won't notice.
Ahhhh.
Once again it was Carnaval in Barcelona..
Walking through the streets as a a cowboy I found myself passing fairys, ninjas, other cowboys, gangsters.. it was very surreal..
Like last year I wanted to go to the Sitges Carnaval parade but unfortunately as I had pulled the calf muscles in my right leg and was unable to walk I had to sack this off in favour of staying in and making pancakes.. there's always next year..
On Saturday Gracey and I were VERY excited about going to see the Kaiser Chiefs in concert at a giant club called Razzmatazz here in
During the supporting acts (We are Scientists - also very good) I could hardly contain my excitement and thought I would have to go home, I perhaps should have because when they came on stage to the music of Dire Straits the crowd went WILD. Being at the front we were definitely at risk of acquiring a few new injuries.
The lead singer was amazing! In the song prior to I predict a riot he leapt into the crowd and ran through the thousands of people to the back of the room when he then crowd surfed to the front to the opening strains of the craziest song ever.. this was unfortunately when i decided to drop something and managed to fall over and get trampled in my quest to pick it back up.. Luckily two guys pulled me from the floor so I could continue to jump like a crazy thing.. higher than any Cacalan... however in doing so I also managed to pull calf muscle in my leg.. worth it? Hell yes.
So this weekend I discovered that my work colleague has the most gorgeous brother ever. EVER.
He was visiting with his friend and my colleague had asked if I would like to join them on a night out. Why not, I thought, while cleverly devising a plan. We were to frequent the same nightclub where I generally seem to come accross Beardman. Having not heard from Beardman in a while I thought it would do him good to see me on the arm of another guy. My colleague also thought this was a good plan as she was to use the friend to make her love interest jealous. This was before I met the brother - I just wanted to be seen with a guy - not left with a desire to eat him alive! I think my mouth gaped open when I first saw him and all plans sailed out of the window until I found out my colleague had already told him about the plan. Damn.
It was a strange kind of a night, lots of champagne was consumed and I was fairly drunk. I didn't see Beardman but I did see Manu (a guy I tried to chat up unsuccessfully a few weeks ago), I tried once again to get in there but unfortunately his friend, the circus clown, fancied me. I've chatted with the circus clown a few times before and in fact asked him about his friend Manu when Manu hasn't been there, so obviously knowing that I fancied Manu I didn't think it was fair of him to stake his claim thus not allowing Manu to give me his number. which I am sure he wanted to do.
So there I am, eyeing up Manu whilst dancing with a circus clown having orignally arrived with my colleague's gorgeous brother, who I wanted to use to make Beardman jealous.
Who gets the snog?
Answers on a postcard
So man number 2 currently is el garrulo (chav more or less in English).
They don't really have chavs as such in Spain but upon seeing him or observing his behaviour it is hihgly likely he would be classed as Garrulo.
Characteristics of garrulos
Boys
Beard man.
So Saturday night I was out partying as usual and for some reason I was very very very drunk. I think we'd been to a leaving party, then to a bar with my boss then on to a club.. the same club as normal.
The previous night, while out with my new housemate Chuck and another male friend, I had ended up meeting a very nice and good looking guy in the club while trying to entertain myself as they fought over the same girl. Unfortunately when it came down to obtaining telephone number information I had managed to crash and burn but ever hopeful I was thinking that there was some remote possibility of him perhaps being there again.
Unfortunately by the time we got to the club the events of the night begin to blur slightly for me.. I remember seeing the hot guys friends and passing on some kind of message.. I also remember dancing with a number of randoms.
What I didn't really remember was dirty dancing with some guy and kissing him.. I was informed of these events on Monday although I had found it very strange that I had been receving text messages from a random guy.. I had clearly given him my number.
So after asking for a description of the guy, we between us, managed to ascertain that he was somewhat taller than me, well dressed, with short dark hair and disturbingly.. a beard.
We agreed to meet up one night in the week for a drink as he happened to be out with his friends and I was out with my housemate and the michelin chef but there was only so long I could hang around in a bar waiting for the guy and so we left. The second I leave he calls, and tells me that he refuses to chase after me all night! the cheek. I was getting panicky anyway because I had NO idea what the guy looked like apart from what I had been told and people's beer goggles are hardly a reliable source of information
On Friday I agreed to meet my work colleague, and we ended up in the club.. lo and behold, beardman is there... I am once again totally wankered.. but I remember leaving the club with him and him trying to convince me to go home with him but I made up some ridiculous excuses and insisted in being dropped off at my own house, which he was totally fine with and then sent me some message to say how nice it was seeing me bla bla and how he'd like to sleep with me in his arms.
Anyway on Sunday I heard from him again and he asked if I would like to go round and watch a DVD. Obviously I was well aware that this was merely a ploy to get into my knickers but I didn't really give a damn.
So I went over to his place and met his cat and .. well .. we ended up in bed having the most amazing sex ever.
In the morning he left me asleep when he went to work and I was awoken by his crazy cat licking my nose! It was very cute.
So I went off to work and decided that I would text him to say I'd had a nice night etcetc.. which I did..and then I waited... and waited...... and waited............... for a reply which was not forthcoming for THREE whole days and then only said something along the lines of.. My phone was broken, have just seen your message, I had a good time too
MEN!!!
Another Valentines Day - Another day without cards or flowers but not to worry.. I at least had a plan!
My colleague and I had been invited for dinner with my boss, his wife, and some friends of his who were here for the GSM conference.
We started in a really nice tiny restuarant eating delicious food in the wine cellar as there was not enough space for the ten of us in the rest of the place.
I was sat between a guy that producers short porn and horror films and the editor of a travel guide
Contributing to Travel Guide Barcelona as bar guide
Writing Porn for women.
All in a night's work.
After around 2 hours the train slowly pulled up and we all (now freezing, damp and covered in snow) piled on. The train pulled away inch by inch and then shortly after reversed inch by inch. This happened several times before it came to a complete stop and the driver and his wingman appeared from their booth with a meaningful look in their eyes. They surveyed the carriage and approached one of the snowboards leaning against the carriage wall. The driver picks it up and asks
"Who's is this?"
One of our group replied that it was his
"I need it, don't mind do you." replied the driver and with that he opened the train door and jumped off into waist deep snow, and then, I kid you not, he proceeded to use the snowboard to shovel snow from in front of the train.
It had snowed soo heavily during the previous few hours and the lack of trainage had meant that the track was covered in deep snow making it nigh on impossible for the train to get through, hence the reversing forwarding motion to try and cut through the snow.
Well after about 10 minutes of shovelling the driver decided that this wasn't going to work (no shit) so he announced to the train his new plan... He would reverse as far back as he could and then accelerate to top speed in his hope to push through all the snow. We're all going to die - was my one and only thought. A miracle occurred and we somehow, after a very frightening journey, arrived back!
We then had a 20 minute walk back to the cottages freezing, soaking, tired and generally in a bad mood. At this point half the group bought food at a local shop and the other half went for dinner. We later met up at the cottages for an evening of karaoke and drunkeness. Which was very fun! I made my karaoke debut and it has to be said - I loved it, once up there I did not want the spotlight off of me.. this could also be due to copius amounts of rum and coke by who knows.
At 3am I decided I would go for a bit of late night sledging. One of the guys, known to the group as jetman .. can't remember his real name.. decided to come with me.. and well, often in midnight sledging one thing leads to another and we ended up very heavy petting in a doorway of a nearby cottage and accidentally leaning on the doorbell. Oop..
The next day it was decided that after breakfast we would return to Barcelona as skiing was not an option.. In the evening we met up for some drinks as a final ending to the weekend and ended up in café real doing some crazy dance moves. Now, even though most people knew about the jetman thing it didn't stop most people coming up to me and telling me that I made a good match with J.T. (the amusing irishman), J.T. was also doing his share of flirting and dancing and somehow by the end of the evening we had managed to get separated from the rest of the group.
As we left the club and wandered around trying to find late night falafel, we were approached by the usual array of beer sellers, hookers and drug pushers. I wasn't after drugs but struck up a conversation with one such vendor as I noticed he had a bad of falafels and I wished to know where he had obtained them. Unfortunately his source was closed, but being a kind of generous fellow he donated 2 falafels to my cause.
Well, having lost the others, and his way back to his hotel, I invited him to my house where he turned out to be the NOISIEST person I have ever slept with. I thought he would wake all the neighbours not to mention my housemates... We did the obligatory swapping numbers thing but anymore of that and I think I would end up deafened.. and so that was the end of that.
