Jealousy

This week has been fucking tiring.

Jealousy has been rearing its ugly head near non-stop all week.

Loco really has a problem. And it's not that I don't understand because I am incredibly jealous of his ex-gf that he was with for seven years. However this does not make up for his incessant jealousy of everyone and everything. He is even jealous of my work, and today I got into trouble for it - Long story.

I work bloody hard at my job only to have him make me look a fool in front of my boss.

It's starting to get me down.. sometimes I think, maybe this isn't working, better to stop this now than let it drag on. One of my friends is convinced that he is compulsively jealous and will never change and his behaviour show that he wants to control me.. which is kind of how I feel to at times.

Oh. I just don't know. I'm stressed and confused and cannot be arsed with it all.

Bring back nsa beardman.

Catalans. Argh!

At some point last week Loco informed me that we had been invited for lunch at the weekend at his ex-work colleague's house with some of his other colleagues.

"Ok" I said.

On Friday Loco informed me that his work colleagues might speak in Catalan.

"Hmm" I said


"But they probably won't" he added

"Hmmmm" I said.

On Saturday armed with the obligatory bottle of plonk, we set off for lunch in one of the many industrial polygonic urbanisations that around these parts they like to call "a village". The BBQ was lit and we milled around the garden waiting for everyone to turn up. I believe that during this period I exchanged a few words reagrding Prison Break with a colleague of Loco's that I had met once before and then that was it because

For the next 6 hours I sat and listened to everybody laughing and joking away in Catalan while I sat there like a lemon barely understanding a word.

Were these people unable to speak Spanish? No. The majority were of a spanish mother tongue and had spent some years living in Cataluña, yet knowing that there was a non-Catalan speaker they still chose to converse in Catalan for the whole time.


Did at any point anyone try to make any conversation with me? No they did not. Other than Loco who does not speak in Catalan but understands perfectly. However he didn't really get that for his one sentence spoken in Spanish there was 100 sentences that had been spoken in Catalan making up the rest of the conversation.

What did I do?

I quietly sat and raged. And daydreamed about smacking each and everyone of these uncivilised animals with a big long stick over the head. Especially one of Loco's uber-Catalan friends who, for some reason, just looking at him makes me seethe. I've only met him 3 times. I don't really know why I dislike him so much. It's just his face I think.

The we left.

The rest of the night was a write off. I was full of nervous energy and bored but my bad mood meant that I didn't actually want to do anything. Happy Days.

NEWSFLASH

I have worked out how to let the general public comment on my posts. Splendid!

Comment away my little love monkeys

A night of madness

Back in 2004, a friend and I were asked to help at a charity ball to be held at one of the fancy hotels in London. We readily agreed, donned our ball gowns and off we flounced.

On arrival we found that the organisers planned to shove all of the "helpers" in a little back room for the sit down meal, meaning that we would miss out on all the fun.. no chance.

With a little encouragement from the person who had asked us to help, we waited until the lights were lowered and everyone was at their tables to find a couple of empty spots that we could fill.

We spotted a half empty table at the edge of the room and made our way there. I earlier had spotted a couple of hot guys and was pleased to see them seated at our chosen table.. Fate or coincidence?

We were lucky enough to have quite an interesting mix of people, including a Del Boy type entrepreneur, an actress, an investment banker (one of the hot guys) and a up and coming film producer - his reason for attending being that he was auctioning a walk on role in his new movie.

We got quite drunk at dinner and moved onto the dance floor to tear it up with our c-razy moves. My friend decided she would buy a round of shots for everyone forgetting that we were in a 5 star hotel and she was an impoverished student. I can still remember her face when the barman informed her that the price of each shot was 8 stirling pounds.

The ball started winding down and Del Boy asked us if we would like to accompany him to his nightclub. Well, yes we would, so off we all went to this famous nightclub in the center of London
which Del Boy claimed to have just purchased. I still am unsure as to whether this was a fabrication or beding of the truth but I was happy enough to believe it for the night and supped my VIP vodka quite contentedly.

At this point my friend decided that she quite fancied the film producer that I had spent some time making eyes at but not one to let bros come before hos I let her at him. Only that she decided to tell him about her boyfriend. And he gave her the edge. Leaving me to continue making eyes.

At some ridiculous hour of the morning the club closed and the actress suggested that we go back to her house for an after party, which everyone seemed to agree was a good idea...

To be continued

Torremolinos Prostitute

Not a penny, or should it be cent in this case.

5 tickets and I only manage one lousy number meanwhile Loco picks up a tenner.

In other news - I have been googled! Well.. not really.. unless Torremolinos Prositute counts.

:P

Housemates. Grr

Went for lunch with my housemate Lily today and apparently my other housemate, Rafa, has been bitching about cleaning or lack of it..

This makes me mad. Firstly as Rafa is here to do a course which consists of 3 hours per week. Lily and I work 40 hour weeks. Rafa never leaves the house (or appears to never leave the house) so therefore spends 37 more hours than Lily and I per week. This gives him plenty of time to clean, admire his cleaning and then bitch that we haven't done any. He now thinks that Loco should also do cleaning (Loco also works 40 hour weeks). Needless to say Loco was pissed about this especially as Rafa has full access to Loco's playstation and games for the 37 extra hours that he is around on his own.

His other gripe was that I ignore him. Bullshit. When no one else is around he ignores me! Not a word comes out of his mouth. Idiot.

This weekend it's yet another Euromillions rollover and once again I am feeling lucky!

180 million euros.. just think of what you could do with that! My imagination has been running wild.

Today I plan to buy 5 tickets.

Fingers crossed.

I have officially become boring with my days and nights consisting of work, food, sex (if I'm lucky) and sleep.

I spend the weekends lunching with Loco's family and sleeping siesta and shun parties and drinking in favour of a movie or Prison Break..

Anyone reading this.. is there anyone? .. well whoever you are.. I know the tales were far more interesting when I was a semi-alcoholic nympho and I apologise for my utter lameness

Have I at the tender age of 24 become.. OLD?

The week gets worse.....

Loco hasn't really forgiven me for lying and I can see that this will be brought up time and time and time again if he has his way.

Things just feel strained between us and it's horrible :(

Things haven't exactly been going great in my little world recently.

Loco has been causing me some stress. I never realised (you never do), how many insecurities he has and I feel like I am treading on eggshells with him.

He is jealous of ALL of my male friends and some of my female ones too, not too mention my boss, housemates etc.

It gets me down as I don't feel that I can behave normally when we are around other people as he accuses me of flirting, fancying them bla bla..

My friends tell me that this behaviour has to be reigned before it gets out of control.. and I agree.. but how to do it??

Take last night for example, a friend (male) has been visiting for a few days. He's already visited in the past and so knows some of my friends already (some more intimately than others). So we went out for a beer with a couple a people and I tell Loco to come along. He arrives with his best friend. Drinks one beer, sulks therefore making me sulk then pretty much demands that we leave. I decline and give him my keys so I can stay a bit longer as it's my friend's last night in Bcn. I then feel guilty for having stayed and promptly leave.

This isn't normal behaviour and it drives me mad!

So last night was very bad.

Loco has been asking me for sometime about the night we went to the concert.

The Sergio Contreras concert where Worm ended up sleeping naked at my house.

I have for some time been trying to convince Loco that Worm slept on the sofa. Alone. Clothed.

Last night I found out that he in fact knew all along about Worm naked. In my bed.

Yes, his friend had decided to tell him the truth about a month after it happened. I have been lying threw my teeth.

I KNOW - we weren't together, it's none of his business etc etc and I should have just told him BUT I decided to lie. D'oh d'oh d'oh.

And just as it was going so well, we'd had a nice date on Thursday, hung out with his freinds on Friday.. and then this.. cue tears, remorse and guilt.

Result: An even more insecure, jealous boyfriend.

AGHHHH

Guess who had the audacity to text me last night...

Beardman!

What a joker.

3 months of nothing and then a casual text as if nothing has happened..

There's a word for what he thinks I am - Stand by shag

well not this time

I don't smoke da reefer

So HC's brother has arrived. Rafa - not 20 but 24. Loco of course thinks that I fancy him. I don't.

He arrived accompanied by his mother and then proceeded to sulk in his room for 2 entire days.

He comes out occasionally now and seems to have taken a shine to Loco. Perhaps this is because Loco knows where he can purchase his favourite grocery item. Hash. Rafa's brother was always, is always very anti drugs, but now I have to make do with his little pothead of a brother who has possibly the most annoying voice ever.

Happy Days.

Meeting the parents

So .. I've met the parents! and the brother and sister in law! And they're all so nice! It was Loco's father's birthday and we went out for lunch. I sat next Loco's brother and opposite Loco, which suited me fine.

His sister-in-law seems a little peculiar but she is very Catalan so I'll let it slide for now.

Now, in Spain, meeting the parents is a very big deal. HUGE. Meeting the parents means that you are in a very serious relationship with probable intentions to marry. In our case, Loco had to give some explanation as to why he slept in Barcelona every night at a "friend's place" and after much prompting from his mother about whether his friend happened to be a girl, that perhaps was a "special friend" Loco finally admitted it and his father was not surprised exclaiming "Tiran más dos tetas que dos carretas" roughly translated as a pair of breasts pull more than a pair of carts. And so a short time later I was invited for lunch.

Normally you get introduced to the parents after 6 months to a year. I know people who have been dating over a year and still haven't met the parents, nor do the parents even know of the significant others existence. (This was the case with my ex in Madrid).

I think Loco's mother was pleasantly surprised as from what I gather she was expecting the stereotypical British person as found on the likes of Ibiza Uncovered and Benidorm Hen Nights. She seems satisfied that I am not some sort of Shameless Hussy (if only she knew, bwa ha ha ha).

So now they know. And now I only have to meet the rest of the 256 family members who will soon know about me as apparently Loco's mother is not one to keep her mouth closed. Joy.

eeeek

Last night Loco and I went for dinner at a Japanese. It wasn't bad, they have a range of menus at reasonable prices (calle Provenca between Balmes and Enric Granados - don't recall the name)

Anyway, I don't know if it was something they put in the food, or the free shot of Sake afterwards but when I got home I could not stop laughing.

Even when we got amorous, every little while I kept getting filled with an urge to laugh. Not exactly romantic!

I have a new addiction. Well I have two new addictions

1. Singstar - The funnest PS game in the world ever?? Loco and I have become quite competitive and over the last few days and my housemates have arrived home quite often to find us singing away like crazies.

2. Eyetoy - My brother has told me it is cheesy. Who cares? I love cheese. There are so many wondrous games for this small but perfect contraption that I wonder if I will ever leave the house again. I spent the weekend fighting virtual foes and absolutely knackered myself out. My arms hurt :(

Everyone should invest.

RIP Steve

I was very sad to hear of the death of Steve Irwin - The Legendary Crocodile (funnily enough spelt cocodrilo in Spanish) Hunter.

His shows never failed to amuse me and I even went to see the movie..

A sad loss.

So today I decided that I would like to visit the doctor.

I was surprised, being in this technologically not advanced country, that they had a nifty little system whereby you go online, type in your medical card number and pick an appointment day and time. Surprised that is, until I found the next available appointment is in 3 to 4 weeks. Only in Spain.

I have already been given a bollocking by the doc for turning up without an appointment (i.e. emergency) (I had had swollen tonsils for a week), what should I do, wait a month, stay at home watching repeats of House, Lost and Desperate Housewives until they can fit me in. Hmm doesn't sound so bad when it's put like that.

Anyway I have decided now that I'm in lurve, I should probably get the "tests". Hopefully everything will be hunky dory but you never know and they're always bleating on about the percentage of people with Chlamydia who don't know etc so best to be safe than sorry.

Last night laying in bed with Loco I had the realisation that I am 100% totally and utterly head over heels in love with him... So in love the thought of being with him in a year doesn't scare me, the thought of being him in ten years doesn't scare me, in fact being with him and only him forever and ever doesn't scare me.. This is out of control.

And then, I told him. And even more amazingly he (says he) feels the same. We even talked about moving in together. Seriously!

I guess it's weird, I've become so used to living my own life and doing my own thing that this, happening so suddenly, is a shock.

I don't really believe in "The one", but if I did, I think Loco might just be it :)

Feeling the way I do also means that I want to be totally honest with him about everything but I don't want him to know the details of my sordid past, especially as I know he's only be with one other person. Will he think less of me because of it or will he respect my honesty??

Such a dilemma.