One day in January...

So today I spoke to Stig.

I was going to write an entry entitled paranoia, but today I believe my suspicions to be founded

I have had my suspicions for some time that something happened between him and V, after all it was the night that we went out with him that she then disappeared for a week. I also found it strange that Stig suddenly started asking after V all the time, asking me questions etc. As well as this it was particularly odd that he “suddenly” seemed to know that I was seeing someone – even though I wasn’t. What Ireland and I had was not a relationship as such. But still. He knew.

There was also an occasion where I was meant to be going to a friend's for dinner yet Stig somehow knew that this would be cancelled, i.e. V was ill and wasn’t going.

Small things like that but a chain of events that led my brain into paranoia overdrive.

Neither of them answers their phones when the other doesn’t.

So we speak – I called him. He never calls me anymore, also strange considering his pre-christmas obsession he has suddenly lost all interest. Anyway we chat for a while about this and that and then he suddenly throws into the conversation

“So V’s going to stay in London”

“How do you know that?”

“We spoke”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we speak every now and then. On messenger. You know… chat”

Me (increasingly incredulous) and voice getting more high pitched: “Really??!”

“Yeah – You don’t have a problem with that do you?”

“No, no of course not. How did you have her email?”

“Oh she gave it to me”

“When?”

“One time”

“I see”

I quickly put an end to the conversation and am literally shaking with anger. Fuming does not even begin to describe how absolutely raging I am.

However, devious, sneaky, compulsive lying, two-faced, double-crossing bitch does begin to describe what I currently think of V.

Having told her everything about Stig, and having told Stig a lot of things that I wouldn’t want V to know that I have said, and knowing that they have clearly been in cahoots infuriates me beyond all belief. I cannot tolerate liars.

V made the biggest mistake of her life the day she crossed me. I will confront her when she returns – maybe some little morsel of truth will escape her lips, although I doubt it very much. A pathological liar doesn’t change its spots. And then I will have nothing more to do with her ever again. Or Stig. They can both fuck right off.

Having just watched Closer, I think “fucked-up slag” is an excellent description.

She was no longer a friend of mine the day she took Ireland home, but this, this just takes the biscuit.

I don’t hold many grudges but V has well and truly earned her place amongst the few I hold and maintain. I don’t hate her, she clearly has a disease, but I do not want anything more to do with her, and will suggest to her that I think that it is best that she never returns to Barcelona.

So, a couple of weeks later Stig calls me again. He wants to meet up. He tells me that he wants to be with me and that he knows I want to be with him too. Yes, it’s crazy. I do my best to blow him off nicely

“It’s just that I’m not in the right place to be with anyone right now”

“We’re not meant to be together, we always argue.. not a healthy basis for a relationship don’t you think?”

Any excuse I can think of but, he isn’t having any of it. I eventually escape.

A short time passes – a couple of days or weeks

Stig and I meet up again.

He has news.

“ I have something to tell you… I slept with V..”

“I know”

“How do you know that I slept with Virginia, my housemate”

He then spends the next 40 minutes playing mind games with me. First telling me that he slept with V, then denying it, then telling me he has slept with Virginia, then denying it. In the end I get annoyed and leave.

What happened next.

V returned from UK with her brother to collect her things. The night before she arrived I had finally managed to get a pub /quiz team off the ground and we had attended our first event at the Bristol Blue. Our team wins of course, but the victory is bitter sweet as after I reveal my latest Stig gossip Freddy tells me that the night of doom, Ireland did not sleep in the spare room as V had sworn to me, but in fact had slept in her bed with her. Of course, this only adds to my rage.

My next move is of course to call Ireland and find out exactly what the fuck happened that night. I am luckily in a position where I can happily believe that Ireland will never lie to me. He tells me that he honestly doesn’t know what happened as he was so hammered but is pretty sure nothing did happen. This placates me slightly but does not stop me from wanting to throw V into a pit full of snakes.

The next day I called Jack to see what he was up to and decided to go and meet him in Plaza San Jaume where he was playing a strange beanbag game with some random guys he picked up from the street, and V’s brother, which meant V was also there.. Not being one to like confrontation I endure her chitchat for a couple of minutes until she has to go to the bathroom and the second she has gone I sprint away to the pub where my –trusted- friend is working..

What should I do? I don’t know what to say? I feel sick with nerves. This is awful. I can’t bear it.

My friend does her best to console, counsel and advise me and just as I turn to face my fears, V walks in the door.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I can put it off for no longer and I ask her if I can have a word.

Me: Ahem. V, it has come to my attention that you have betrayed my trust and confidence and lied to my face. On more than one occasion. I need to tell you that I abhor liars and I am upset at your behaviour.

V: What do you mean?

Me: What do you think I mean?

V: It’s Stig isn’t it. We’re just friends! Nothing happened.

Me: Firstly it’s not just that. Secondly that’s not what I heard.

V: What did you hear? What has he said?

Me: Like I say it’s not just about Stig but I am shocked that you didn’t tell me you were in contact, for god’s sake.

V: I was trying to help him..

M: Why didn’t you tell me? I find it strange that you were in contact with someone that I was/am involved with and you don’t tell me, why would you do that if something wasn’t going on. And besides it’s not just that, I know you lied to my face about Ireland’s sleeping arrangements.

V: We didn’t do anything…

M: I do not giving a flying monkey whether you did or didn’t, I do not care, I told you at the time to tell me the truth and you lied. TO MY FACE. How can I trust someone that could be like that?

V: So.. what? That’s just it then. I could say stuff now but it would only be hurtful so I’m not going to. We clearly can’t sort this out so goodbye.

V walks off, I stand there gaping. I call Freddy and go for coffee to dissect the conversation – her absolute lack of shame or apology etc etc.

This is followed by angry calls from Stig. And surprisingly Jack who tries to convince me to forgive V.. she has clearly brainwashed him with her lies which infuriates me more as he doesn’t have a clue what happened.

We have to swap belongings so V comes to my apartment the following afternoon full of apologies etcetc. I listen, tell her I don’t hate her (I don’t) and smile and nod when she says she wants us to stay friends..

The truth is there is no way in hell we are remaining friends. I have lost all and total trust in her, I realised early on that she had a problem with lying, I just assumed she wasn’t lying to me and learnt the hard way.